The Art Of Drowning
by Cynoodn
Summary: Sequel to The Walking Mac The group started to feel safe at the prison when a dangerous sickness takes them by surprise. Follows the original series' plot starting from season 4. Just like its Prequel, tells the story from Daryl's sister's POV
1. Ordinary people

**Hello everyone, and welcome to my new story!**

 **I'm really happy to see Y'all liked TWM and decided to ask for it's sequel. Let me tell y'all readers a quick story before starting the real deal. Y'all can skip it if you want**

 **I started writing TWM after I wrote a weird thing, that I dont think that can be even called a one shot because it is extremely confusing, about the things that would happen if Merle and Daryl had a sister and how she would manage to survive alone in the woods for a long period of time. I didnt upload that because it doesn't even tell a story. Its just weird situations mixed together like an ugly burger. It was just ideas, bits and pieces that have sometimes helped me go through the real story. Even the unnamed OC was way older, which I really dont like because it wouldnt match Mac's sometimes childish and annoying personality towards her brother. Anyway after that I watched season one and realized I could just shove her in there and see how it all went, and thats how all this was born. I was afraid to upload it because it was the first thing I've ever written in my life to follow a storyline, and I really, REALLY appreciate all the reviews and follows I got for it. Even the mean private messages saying how 1st person view for writing this kinds of stuff sucks. Thank you, cause it made me be better at this.**

 **Y'all are amazing readers and reviewers and I think I just wrote more than I intended here... Sorry**

 **Oh well, here's the disclaimer like always:**

 **The Art Of Drowning follows AMC's TWD's original plot, but it ain't necessarily the same!**

 **Some of the dialogue, situations, and character behavior might be different  due to the OC character's POV**

 **Just like last time, if something was missing just let me know and I'll fix it**

 **There may be some grammar mistakes, I know, I'll try to do it all correctly even though shit happens sometimes**

 **Let me know what y'all think on the reviews**

 **And finally, I own nothing, not even Daryl's ear necklace. All characters, locations, and storyline belong to AMC and/or the state of Georgia. **

**Lyrics at the beginning of the 1st chapter belong to The Animals.**

 **Only Mac (with all her crazy shit) is mine and only mine and can't be used unless permission is given. In case someone needs to know, she's 18 at the beginning of this.**

 **Dont like what you read? Stop reading and look for something that makes your imagination happy (:**

 **LET'S DO THIS!**

 **-Cynoodn**

* * *

 _"There is a house in New Orleans_

 _They call the Rising Sun_

 _And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy_

 _And God, I know I'm one.."_

Music echoes through the cold cellblock as I roll on my back and stretch myself a little, ending up facing the upper bed. I open my eyes lazily and smirk slightly when I recognize the song playing on the old CD player powered by batteries.

Rick found it a while ago and he sometimes plays music on it in the mornings while getting ready to head out to work on the animals and crops on the field. Just one song every now and then to make the batteries last.

I think thats kind of cute, but I wont mention anything about it. I don't want him to stop doing it.

The others seem to think the same way; No one says anything about it because we secretly like it.

Today's song seems to be 'the house of the rising sun' by 'The Animals'.

I take a deep breath telling my body its time to get up and sit slowly on the bunkbed before rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand and yawning.

Its been months since we got rid of the governor. Beth's been counting them.

7 months and a half to be exact

According to Hershel, winter is almost over which is good because it means Rick's crops will give us food anytime soon.

And we haven't seen or heard anything about the governor since then. If only I could find the son of a bitch...

He still owes me and Daryl

I get up, lift my arms and stretch my entire body. I let my arms fall by my sides.

After that I take some clothes and head to the showers. The water is always cold, but we've all gotten used to it.

I used to go out to look for the governor with Michonne every morning; We tracked him for days until the trail just disappeared into thin air, but she's still looking for him for some reason.

I don't think she'll be able to track him alone, but sadly, I gave up on that search long ago...

Anyway, waking up to Rick's music usually gets me in a good mood. Life's changed for us one more time, and this time it seems its a good change. We're just normal people again

Simply ordinary

I don't remember the last time I felt hungry enough to be sick or tired enough to pass out

I'm glad all this happened, and I wouldn't change a thing for this to be perfect... Except maybe Merle...

I feel thankful for the prison and for my...family...

* * *

I walk out of the cell block lazily. Most of the people are eating or talking with one another.

They're all eating a deer Daryl brought yesterday.

We still hunt together sometimes, sometimes being the key word, but yesterday I spent my day with Carol, helping her sort the food.

I head to where Carol is usually cooking only to find Patrick trying to not overcook the meat.

I greet him normally even though in the inside I find it weird to see him here instead of her

He's a good kid. No parents since the day of the outbreak. Lived in Woodbury since.

Carl joins us sometimes when we have free time and we hang out around the prison. The only thing that I don't understand is why Patrick goes to Story Time with Carol.

I take a look at the food and ask "you the cook now, huh"

"Oh, no. Carol just wanted me to watch these while she talked to your brother"

"About what?"

"About the walkers" Patrick replies awkwardly. "Mr. Dixon is a real badass"

Wait, what!? Oh my fucking God!

I burst out laughing.

I cant believe he called Daryl 'Mr. Dixon'!

"Whats so funny?" I hear Daryl's voice behind me and look at him and Carol as they walk next to us. Patrick turns red and walks away.

"Nothing, Mr. Dixon. We were just talking about how popular you were" I explain

Daryl is not amused by it. "Don't call me that"

"Sounds pretty formal." Carol says "I like it"

"I'm sorry." I say "didn't mean to embarrass you in front of your fans"

He growls giving me a warning look "stop"

"Fine. Don't get your panties in a bunch, princess."

"jackass" he scoffs eyeing me, making Carol eye us with what I think is a worried look.

I understand why he hates when people calls him Mr. Dixon

Mr. Dixon was our father, and the last thing he wants to be is like him, but I still don't know why after all we've been through we just couldn't handle being together after Merle died.

We stopped going on runs together, hunting, even taking watch together..

We only spoke to each other when needed

It just didn't feel right

I'm happy to have him by my side right now

"Anyway," I give him a jokingly 'fuck you' look and turn to look at Carol now "Good morning, Carol"

"Good morning, sweetheart. Do you want something to eat?" She asks sweetly and looks down to the food Patrick was taking care of for her

I shake my head "M'not hungry. Thanks."

Both look at me.

"Not hungry?" She asks "how so?"

"Good Morning, Daryl" a girl passes by and my brother replies with a distracted nod before concentrating on me once more. I smirk and roll my eyes

"I guess your fame is ruining my appetite." I joke causing him to raise an eyebrow. "I don't know, I guess I cant be starving 24/7."

"If you don't eat now you gonna be starving in the middle of the road." He mutters

Oh, I'm invited now? What an honor!

"Daryl's right. You can't go out there without eating something" Carol tells me while Daryl eyes me as if saying 'I told you so'

"I'm invited to the party this time?"

"If you wanna come" he says simply "I never told you jerk to stop coming with us"

"I know" I mumble and see how he offers me some of the food he's got on a plate.

I sigh and take a piece of the meat he's got before he puts the almost empty plate close to Carol

My brother speaks and starts walking away "come on we gotta get things ready"

"Fine by me" I give Carol a gentle smirk and follow Daryl eating quickly what's left in my hand

* * *

"Check that one over there" Daryl tells me shaking a gas tank that sounds almost empty. I walk on the bed of the truck to get the one he said and take it.

I don't need to shake it "empty"

"Gonna have to get more gas" he walks away. "Wait here"

I sit on the bed of the truck and look at the gunshots that made holes in the wall next to the truck waiting for him to come back. I see Beth going to the yard where everyone was eating but then Zack comes walking from one side of the truck.

"Hey." He says startling me and making me look behind me "I was just gonna come find you." He tells Beth walking close to her.

He throws his backpack close to me and tells me "mind getting that?"

I frown.

Yes. I mind, Romeo.

I stand up and grab it. I throw it to the back where I see an empty spot.

I jump down the bed of the truck and lean on the side. I only watch them both kissing.

"Hi." She replies "What's up?"

"Well, the council pulled back everyone on the coal crew from going on the run." Zack explains. "They're shorthanded right now. I figured I'd step up to help, go with 'em.."

I keep listening

"Just, you know, wanted to make sure that I saw you before."

Ugh, so sweet Beth's gonna end up having diabetes.

I roll my eyes.

"Okay." I hear Beth saying

"I just... cause, you know, it's dangerous going out there."

Yeah no shit

"I know." She kisses his cheek and starts walking like before.

I smirk.

Burn?

I hear steps and see Daryl coming back with a box in his hands. I wonder what it is. I'll check it later.

"Okay, are you gonna say good-bye?" Zack asks making me look back at them

"Nope." Beth smiles

Ouch... Burn x2

"Damn romance novel" Daryl chuckles walking past me and putting the box on the truck

I laugh

I nod towards the truck and tell Zack "Hey, Romeo. Don't cut your veins yet. We ain't done here"

He nods. He comes closer to help us.

Daryl smirks and shakes his head.

* * *

Were driving to the prison gate to go to the Big Spot like Daryl said yesterday. Zach stops the truck and leans on the door frame looking bored. Maybe thoughtful.

"Shes back already?" He mutters making me look at him quickly.

"Hold on. Let me hear what they're saying" I lean on the window frame to know whats up

"How was your search?" I hear Daryl ask Michonne, who was talking to Rick after another morning of looking for the governor talks to my brother now

"I didn't find anything" Michonne replies looking tired. Shes standing next to Rick, Carl, and Flames, her horse.

Michonne's been trying to track the governor after some tracking lessons we gave her a few months back.

Unfortunately she's not good at it. It took me years to learn and even after that I lose the prints sometimes. I'm not as good as Daryl.

My brother nods disappointedly after hearing she failed once more, but then smirks slightly "Well, Glad to see you in one piece"

"I'm thinking of looking over near Macon." Michonne tells him making Rick frown

My brother asks "how you gonna track him?"

Michonne looks at me. Daryl looks back for a brief moment.

Me? To Macon?

"She ain't going to Macon." Daryl says after shaking his head dryly

"It's worth a shot." She argues

"70 miles of walkers. You might run into a few unneighborly types. " He tilts his head and raises an eyebrow calmly "Is it?"

I chew on my lip. He's right

Michonne frowns and looks down in disagreement.

"Anyway," Daryl looks at Rick "I'm gonna go check out the Big Spot. The one I was talking about, just seeing."

Rick nods "Yeah, I got to go out and check the snares. I don't want to lose whatever we catch to the walkers."

"I'll go." Michonne suddenly says

I look up to her.

Where? To the Big Spot? Or with Rick?

"You just got here!" Carl tells her as if he wanted something else from here. Michonne smiles and stops next to the kid holding the horse

"And I'll be back." She replies and walks toward us. He whistles and looks at me. He gestures 'come here' and so I do.

"Guess you got new copilot" I tell Zach and get out of the truck. He nods.

I let the door open for Michonne and walk next to Daryl

Rick and Daryl look at me. My brother says "I'll take you"

I nod "ok"

he moves a bit forward on the seat. I walk and get on the bike behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and nod to Rick.

Rick nods back and after Daryl pats his stomach quickly, he runs to open the gates.

* * *

When I get down the bike I look around me. This looks like it was a really secure zone.

I just wonder why there's music playing somewhere "So this is the Big Spot you were talking about"

Daryl nods

"How come I wasn't here when you found it?" I ask curiously

"Last time I made you go on a run with me you told me to stop being your fucking chaperone. I ain't dealing with a hormonal teen" he mumbles "You're old enough to decide where you go and what you do"

I raise an eyebrow. "Touché... Guess I gotta stick to you again"

"Maybe" he mutters looking at the building

"Looks like an army camp" Bob says.

I don't know why they let him come with us. We barely know him.

Daryl and Glenn found him on the road by himself. Again, I wasn't with them.

Daryl does his thing, and I do mine. I spend most of my time inside one of the guard towers or with Rick setting traps for the animals around the prison while he goes on runs and hunts deeper in the woods.

"Army came in and put these fences up. Made it a place for the people to go." My brother explains about the store

"Looks like it didn't work" I see a hole in the fence and touch around it slightly.

"Last week when we spotted this place, there was a bunch of walkers behind this chain-link keeping people out like a bunch of guard dogs." He explains

"So they all just left?" I ask

"Give a listen." Daryl tells me

"You drew 'em out."

"We put a boom box out there three days ago." Sasha tells us. Was she here too?

"Three days playing?" I ask

"Hooked it up to two car batteries." Glenn explains making me realize how much I missed going on runs

"Smart" I whisper

"All right, let's make a sweep. Make sure it's safe." Daryl walks through the space on the fence. We start following him carefully "Grab what you can. We'll come back tomorrow with more people."

"Ok" I whisper.

Theres medical supplies. Broken, dirty, scattered. Completely useless.

Dead people. Dead animals.

Nothing useful out here

I stop walking when I see a hand on the floor. I only stare at it and think..

What would he think of us right now?...

I only stare at it until Daryl pushes me slightly "Come on, don't think about it"

I nod and keep walking quietly

* * *

"Just give it a second" Daryl sits on the window frame on one side of the building after knocking on the window with his elbow.

I sigh. Walkers are just so slow...

I stand in front of him with the rifle Rick gave me hanging on my back and my beretta inside my holster since I lost the revolver on a run. I felt so stupid that day...

"Okay, I think I got it."

I look at Zack and frown slightly.

"Got what?" Michonne comes closer.

Yeah, got what?

Zach sits next to my brother and explains while Michonne leans on the wall "I've been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn."

I look at Daryl and smirk. "Has he?"

He shrugs "He's been trying to guess for like, six weeks."

Zach takes a deep breath "Yeah, I'm pacing myself. One shot a day."

"All right then," I say "shoot."

Daryl smirks

Zach looks at him for a moment and then says "Well, the way you are at the prison, you being on the council, you're able to track, you're helping people, but you're still being kind of surly."

Surly. Sure

"Big swing here." He points out

"Oh yes, of course" I mutter

"Homicide cop."

I raise my eyebrows and listen to Michonne cracking out laughing

"What's so funny?" Daryl looks at her seeming amused by it

"Nothing. It makes perfect sense." She replies

"Actually, the man's right." My brother tells them and look at me "Undercover."

"Come on, really?" Zach asks surprised

"Yeah" I nod "you got it"

"Even she got to see some corpses."Daryl nods to me "I don't like to talk about it 'cause it was a lot of heavy shit, you know?"

"Dude, come on, really?"

My brother looks at him as if saying 'Do I look like the kind of man working for the cops?'

This time it is me that laughs. I think I'm the only one that knows what Daryl really was.

Daryl was not a cop!, he just made sure consumers paid for the blue. He was sometimes a dealer when Merle was in jail. He would watch me if Merle wasn't home, but that's pretty much it.

Cops were avoided if possible.

"Okay. I'll just keep guessing, I guess." Zach says

"Yeah, you keep doing that." My brother clears his throat

"Mm-hmm."

I see the a walker coming closer to the window

"Heads up" I tell them and the walker hits the glass

Daryl stands up, he puts an arrow on the crossbow while Michonne asks "We're gonna do this, Detective?"

He nods and clears his throat "Let's do it"I pull my beretta out.

* * *

I walk around the store looking for something. Anything may catch my attention.

getting rid of the walkers in here was easy

I grab some stuff for Daryl and some for Rick.

I walk through the Toys area. Maybe I can get something for Judith.

I see dolls and action figures. Some plastic tools for the boys.

Nah, that is not for an eight month old little girl. I keep looking.

I see some stuffed animals and smirk. That's gonna do the trick.

I walk over to those. They're adorable.

I take one by one to check them. I want to give her the cutest and softest one.

Finally I make a decision.

I take a giraffe thats about the size of my forearm and so fluffy I would've died to have it when I was little.

I put the smiley giraffe inside my backpack and keep going.

I see Glenn looking at an advertisement and when I see he's gone I get closer to see what it is.

Its about babies.

Makes me wonder why he stared at it for so long. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the Ass-Kicker.

I look in his direction once more. Maybe...

Maggie...?

"Found anything interesting?" I get startled by Daryl's voice and turn my head do where he is.

"Don't do that!" I whisper to him "And no. This place is full of furniture and electronics."

I got him cigarettes but I'll give them to him once we're back

I wish I could smoke... But, I'm afraid something could happen to me once more

I just abstain from smoking

He's about to say something, but a scream and the sound of a lot of bottles breaking catch our attention. We don't hesitate to run towards the center of the store where we find Tyreese trying to lift a shelf and the smell of wine filling the place.

What would he be doing there? Trying to get fucking drunk in the middle of the apocalypse and drag the rest of us down with him?

"You all right? You cut or something?" We hear Tyreese asking making me realize it was not him who broke the thing. I hear Bob under the shelf

"No, man, but my foot is caught."

Daryl walks closer to Tyreese. I stay where I am to give them space to do their work.

"He's just caught." The black guy says

"What happened?" My brother asks getting his flashlight out and kneeling to see the man's foot better

Bob considers a joke but stops himself when he sees Daryl's serious face "I was moving fast, man. I drove right into the drinks."

"Man, you lucked out." Daryl says getting up to lift the shelf with Tyreese "If this thing had come down on you the wrong way..."

He'd be dead

They start lifting the shelf. Some other group members join us.

They're about to free Bob when we hear a crushing sound on top of us and lookup to the ceiling to see a walker falling right through but his guts get stuck somehow and he ends up hanging as if it was a piñata.

After a fucking jump-scare and everyone surprised by the undead, I dont know if I should laugh at it or be running out terrified by the fact that it started raining walkers inside of the store

"We should probably go now." I tell my brother

"Bob's still stuck." Zack says

"Get him out of there. We'll get the others." Daryl tells Glenn and Tyreese and runs

I run to help him with whatever the fuck he's doing.

* * *

 **Later that night...**

I sit on my bed looking at nothing in particular. My cell is almost dark because we don't use the generators to power the cells. We use oil lamps at night or flash lights, which I really prefer.

" _Daryl!" I scream when I see all the walkers surrounding him and the old helicopter breaking whats left to hold it slowly. Daryl looks up to it and widens his eyes. He looks at me before getting back to shoot the walkers around him faster than before. I am afraid. The thing will collapse and kill him. I try to kill all the walkers around him as well and protect myself at the same time._

 _The helicopter moves a bit more_

 _"Daryl, go!" I hear Glenn's voice screaming_

I blink absently and the memory keeps playing in my mind

Bob is free. Daryl and Zack just got him out. The store starts shaking.

"Come on, time to go." Tyreese screams. We start running.

Someone screams.

Zack. A walker pulled him down and is not ripping the flesh off his neck. He cries for help we we can't do nothing about it

I stare in horror

"Let's go, now!" Glenn's voice comes once more

"Come on!" Daryl screams "Go!"

He tells the others and grabs my arm tightly

I look at him confused

"Go, go!" He runs pulling me with him and I look up. The helicopter is coming right down on us "Come on! Move!" My brother yells

"Hey."

I blink and look in the direction of the voice. Daryl walks inside my cell and leans on the wall while I follow him with my eyes "did you tell her?"

He said he was going to tell Beth about Zack. He nods.

"How is she?" I ask without moving from my bed

he shrugs "she'll be fine"

I nod and awkward silence fills the cell

I just realized I'm afraid something happens to him while I'm here and he risks his ass out there. "Thank you... For taking me with you"

Daryl nods

I look down before passing a finger through the wristband on my arm carefully. He looks at it and thinks for a moment

We stay quiet before he asks "You good?"

I smirk and stare at him in disbelief

I have a slight headache, but It'll go away once I sleep "When was the last time you asked me that?"

Daryl shrugs

"I'm good." tell him. "just kinda tired. You?"

He nods and chews on his lower lip "fine"

I nod too Its cool to have a conversation with him after months of not even getting close to him

"So, we good now?"

He nods once more "we good."

I smirk. That makes me feel better. He even says "I'll be hunting tomorrow. In case you wanna come"

I chuckle "just like the old times, huh"

"Im just letting you know"

"I'll be there"

I make him look back at me by saying "by the way, I got you this today"

I take my backpack

He waits patiently for me to pull out Jude's giraffe, which I'll give to her in the morning, Rick's batteries, and then the cigarettes.

"Thanks" he tells me and takes them when I hand them to him

"Don't smoke 'em all in one night, ok?" After all, those are cancer sticks...

He smirks "what about the plushy?"

"Ass Kicker" I smile and get up from my bed taking the toy and the batteries "Wanna come?"

He shakes his head and moves closer to the entrance of my cell "nah, go ahead. I'll go crash now"

"G'night then" I say

"Night"

I'm glad things are getting better with him.

I walk out and down the stairs. I find Rick rocking Judith and approach him

I love spending time with them


	2. New Threat

I am walking through the woods and enjoying the not so hot weather. It reminds me of the first time Merle and Daryl took me out hunting

Doing this with him clams me down. It is as if the dead never started walking.

I breathe in and out the fresh air. I'm glad it doesn't smell like walkers.

That makes me happy.

I walk past some trees after getting a rabbit off one of the traps I set with Rick. I put it inside my backpack

I walk more looking for my brother until I come out of the woods and into a clearing. Daryl is there kneeling next to a buck he just hunt.

He turns to look at me and cleans the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand before getting up.

I walk closer to him. He might need help with the buck

A single shot rings through the air. I startle and stop walking.

I look down to myself thinking I'm dead.

Someone just shot me. I will see blood on me pretty soon.

I look up confused since I feel no pain and see Daryl looking down to himself too. He puts a hand on his chest. I look at him in shock realising it.

He's the one who got shot..

We see his blood starting to spread through his clothes. He takes his hand away from his chest to look at it, looking at all the blood in shock too.

"Daryl...?" I call him

He looks up to me with pain and fear in his eyes

I stare in horror.

He exhales heavily before letting himself collapse on the grass

"NO!" I run to him

I kneel next to him and roll him on his back while he coughs out blood.

There's the wound. Deep. There's no way I can take the bullet out myself

I cry. I don't know what to do.

I sob and look up to locate the person who shot my brother, ready to kill anyone who could've shot him. No one is around.

I am so angry

I hear his weak voice whispering my name and look down to him again. I can see how he struggles to stay alive.

I put my hands on his wound trying to stop the bleeding. I hush him

He lifts his arm and takes my shoulder as if trying to contain the pain.

"You're gonna be fine" I assure him. "We'll patch you up. Hang in there"

Rick.

I need to take him to Rick

I'm so stressed I dont know where the prison is. Are we far? Close?

I think on what to do crying to hear my brother trying to breathe

* * *

I did the best I could to put Daryl on my back. He's heavy, but I couldn't leave him back there.

He's taller than me so his feet are dragging behind me when he fails to stay on his feet next to me. That ain't helping

I try to move through the woods as fast as I can with his weight on my back.

His blood makes my back feel wet and sticky

I'm worried. The bleeding has not stopped yet.

I was sure the pressure of my back against his chest would make it stop

"Mac..." He groans in pain and grabs the collar of my shirt.

I stop and wait for him to move slightly on my back. I help him move to a more comfortable position and then I keep walking

Ok. He's still alive. Thats good.

But he's already cold like a corpse..

* * *

I walk for a little more and see an old cabin a few feet away from us.

I have to do something to stop the bleeding before I keep going for the prison

I walk to it. Could have something to help Daryl in it.

I kick the door open and walk inside.

I walk to a corner of the almost empty place and help my brother sit on the floor with his back on the wall. He grunts in pain again.

I move around looking for something useful. I open drawers, doors, shelves and all I can looking for something desperately.

I hear Daryl's raspy breathing struggling.

"Mac" he grunts softly and coughs more blood.

"Theres nothing here!" I yell anxiously. Nothing but empty cans of food and... My revolver...

I throw and kick the cans away angrily. I am not going to kill Daryl.

I cry frustrated. Daryl wont make it, and theres nothing I can do about it.

Daryl calls me again. I look at him feeling like shit. I feel the urge to cry harder. "C-come.. here" he says.

I walk to him slowly.

I sob and sit by his side resting my head on his shoulder.. "I'm sorry..." I mumble

He takes a deep breath and growls

"Don't ..." He says and coughs "if.. If I t-turn..."

I look at him with tears in my eyes and shake my head "no! No, you can't ask me that!"

He smirks resting his head on the wall and closes his eyes.

"I'm not gonna kill you." I say

He opens his eyes and looks at me tiredly. "I'm already dead." He mumbles making me cry harder than before.

I hug him tightly and sob. He hugs me back weakly. His arms shaking slightly.

"I dont want you to die. I don't want to be alone"

"Its ok" he says

"I love you" I cry burying myself in his bloody chest

"It'll be ok" he grunts in pain. He moves his hand to the back of my head to hold me tighter. "You.. Don't be a p-pussy"

I nod

I don't move away from him and stay there. At some point he removes his hand and is just holding me with one of them.

We stay like that for a while. We don't move or do anything. We just stay next to each other.

* * *

I feel Daryl move and lift my head to look at him.

His eyes are closed. I move back a little to check on him.

"Daryl?" I say scared and completely broken

He opens his eyes and groans. I get away from him as fast as I can breathing heavily and widening my eyes

I cant do this. Im scared...

He looks at me. His blue eyes are gone, they've been replaced by white dead ones and all he does is growl.

I sob again and see how he stands to reach for me.

I look around for something to defend myself. My gun is still on the floor.

I run for it.

I remove the safety aiming to my brother and cry.

I can't. I don't want to do it but he is approaching me. I don't want him to bite me either.

"Please..." I say but he keeps coming "dont do this..."

He roars

I look into his eyes take a shaky breath before shooting him on the head.

I watch him collapse on the wooden floor while a small pool of blood grows around him draining the last he had out of his body

I walk next to him and sit on the floor by his side. I put him on his back once more and pull him to me.

I cry removing some hair off his now closed eyes. I gasp and sob "I'm sorry"

I stare at the bullet wound on his forehead. I take a deep breath.

What am I supposed to do now?

I cant do this without you... Without Merle...

I sob and grab my gun tightly

"I can't..." I whisper resting my head on his bloody one. I put my revolver on the side of my head and close my eyes tightly "Forgive me..."

* * *

I wake up by the movement of someone shaking me violently. And sit on my bed almost automatically and trying to back off from whatever is touching me until I realize it is Daryl; kneeling next to my bed with a frown and calling my name with Rick behind him rocking the Ass Kicker on one of his arms.

"Hey, Hey!" Daryl says grabbing my arm "You're fine. You're here"

I look at both of their concerned faces with wide eyes and in total shock. Im sweating.

My cell is illuminated by a flashlight on Rick's free hand

"Daryl?" I mumble blinking to get used to the light and breathing heavily. I look at Daryl's confused face, then down to his chest and see it raising and falling normally.

He's alive and good. No bullet wound there, or on his forehead.

Of course it was a dream. I would never opt out like that. I would never fail Merle like that.. Plus I can't move Daryl's weight even if I try to...

And he wouldn't have reacted the way he did, or would he? He's never had a bullet in his chest... I don't know...

I look at Rick then with a horrified expression still on my face.

"Are you ok?" Rick asks while my brother just looks at me frowning slightly

I nod feeling my cheeks wet.

Daryl seems to try to figure out what just happened inside my mind

"I... Yeah..." I whisper wiping up the tears on my face "just a bad dream.."

"Yeah.." the sheriff whispers

"I'm sorry" I mutter and Daryl looks back at him

"Go back to sleep, you and your kid gotta rest"

Rick nods and walks away while I give him a slight but shaky smirk assuring I'm ok before he goes. After that I'm left with Daryl in my dark cell

I look down awkwardly trying not look at him. I'm afraid that if I look at him he'll have those scary white dead eyes

I startle when he clears his throat. He growls "You look like shit"

Only then I look up to him slowly and find his normal blue eyes seeming a bit concerned.

"Well, you're not exactly prince charming." I mutter back. My voice comes as a soft whisper

My brother only frowns even more. I see him lifting his hand and flinch when it comes close to my face.

"What are you...?"

Suddenly he puts his hand on my forehead gently. I frown but let him do whatever he's doing

He growls and stands up in front of me.

"What was all that about?" I ask him still trying to wake up fully.

"Nothing" he tells me taking the flashlight Rick left before leaving "Just go back to sleep. Take the day off tomorrow"

Back to sleep? Day off?

Whaaat?! Who are you and what did you do to Daryl?! Is this another dream?!

"I'm fine" I tell him "It was just a bad dream"

"No, you've got a fever."

Thats never good. Maybe that's what caused the nightmare...

I try to not look surprised or worried by it

I gasp sarcastically in an exaggerated tone "oh shit, I'm finally turning!" Daryl frowns unamused while I speak "I'll eat your face off any moment now"

"Don't be stupid. You're not that warm." he says "But you're comin' down with something, I don't want you being the dickhead who gives it to the rest of the group"

I chuckle "Gonna go nurse mode on me, now?"

Daryl roll his eyes and folds his arms. He's about to say something but I speak first

"I'm sorry.."

He hesitates a second and nods while biting his lower lip. He turns to leave but I almost panic

"Wait!" I say sitting straight on my bunkbed and making him stop and turn to look back at me.

I'm scared. I don't want to be alone

"Can I... Can I spend the night with you? In your cell?"

Daryl frowns "What are you, five?"

"Might as well.." I tell him "please."

He thinks for a moment realizing how I'm feeling, then takes a deep breath and nods "I'll take the upper bed" he says and starts walking

I get off my bed quickly and follow him leaving my dark cell behind

* * *

I spent the next day out hunting with him. I was so nervous and alert all the time to keep my dreams from happening...

I'm glad we ain't arguing as much as we used to and we brought a lot of food, but when the night comes the fever is back; this time it comes with a terrible migraine and a bit of a dizziness

Tonight I spend the night at Daryl's cell again so he can check on me. We're out of medicine, so Hershel just told me to rest until we can get some and drink plenty of water

I don't feel so good...

* * *

Daryl is by my side with one hand on my back and a really worried look on his face. His other hand holds my hair back while I'm vomiting all I had left in my stomach in the toilet on the corner of the cell.

I gasp in and out to get air and cough.

I feel so embarrassed!

"I'm sorry" I whisper once I'm done and get up weakly

He grunts helping me up and back to the bunkbed, then he gives me a bottle with some water left in it

I hate my hair right now, it's only bothering me and sticking to my face because of the sweat.

"Gotta do something about this fucking mop" I growl "you think Maggie can cut it?"

"I don't think you should be close to anyone" he says "you look like shit"

"Thank you" I whisper and swallow painfully "you said that already"

"You need to see Hershel" He says and starts walking out to get the old man.

I stop him

"No," I breathe "I'll be fine. I just need a moment"

No, I wont be fine. The fever skyrocketed this morning, so lets say I need something to bring it down before my brain fries in there

"You need meds" He says pulling the red rag from his back pocket and pouring some water on it to put it gently on my forehead afterwards. I hold it in place and look at him

Then we hear gunshots. Close ones

We look up and out of the cell

Oh god...

"Is that D?" I ask putting the rag down and leaning my head on the wall behind me still being unable to get up

"Stay here" he growls pushing my hand back up to my head hoping the cold rag brings down the fever.

He takes the crossbow and rushes outside.

I nod and look around for his spare gun in case I need it. I see it in a chair near the bunkbed.

I feel safer knowing where the gun is, but I still gotta close my eyes for a second...

* * *

I open my eyes quickly and look in the gun's direction when I hear a slight thud in the cell.

I relax when I see my brother is back and safe. The thud was just him putting his crossbow down next to the bed.

The sunlight coming from the windows looks so different now

"How long was I out?" I ask him softly

"Long enough" he tells me walking closer.

He takes his red rag and touches my forehead again with the back of his hand and then the front, after that he hands me a new bottle with more water.

I take it and drink slowly

"How're you feeling?" He asks me pouring more water on the rag and putting it on my forehead again

I smirk lazily and swallow the water in my mouth "as good as I can be... I'm cold"

He pauses and looks down a bit as if looking at every single thing that might be wrong with me. Then nods and reaches to one of the corners of the bunkbed.

"Here" he hands me his poncho

"Thanks" I mutter and use it as a blanket since Im not in the mood for moving to put it on.

I take a deep breath "What happened? All the gunshots?"

My brother hesitates for a moment "don't worry about it. We've got it covered"

I know he's bullshitting me so I don't panic over something. I only stare at him and raise an eyebrow

I reply like he did the other night "What am I, five? I have the right to know what happened"

Daryl looks uncomfortable. He frowns slightly and then says "…There were walkers in block D."

"How did they get in?"

"They didn't. Some people died and turned, started attacking the rest."

I widen my eyes "How?"

The hesitation and the look on my brother's eyes makes it obvious that I wont like what I'll hear. I call his name anxiously after he thinks and stays quiet

"Daryl, how did they die?"

"Patrick choked on his own blood." He mutters "He was sick…he must've died in the night, or sometime this morning. He turned, and killed some others…"

Choked?!

I look down frowning. I see the water on my hands splash a bit inside the bottle as I move my hand to put it down. My throat itches as if I was about to have a coughing fit "So this.. Sickness.. Its the one I got?"

He sighs and leans on the wall across from me. He shrugs and shakes his head mumbling "I dunno."

I look at him in anxiously "and it's killing people?"

"I don't know."

"Man, if this shit's killing people I wanna know." I say with a serious tone in my voice making him look me in the eye

"It could easily just be Patrick who died from it. Maybe he was more prone to catching shit, I don't know."

"And the one who's lung collapsed two times in the same fucking year ain't prone to a respiratory sickness"

"When was the last time you had the fucking flu?" he asks looking at me with disbelief in his eyes

"Exactly! This must be some hardcore shit or I wouldn't have gotten it!" Pushing myself up I take the rag off my forehead and tell Daryl feeling super scared "in case you dont remember I know what it feels like to be choking on your own fucking blood and the thought of it scares the shit outta me... I already have the damn thing"

He rolls his eyes "Whining ain't gonna help you."

"I'm not whining, but you come down with this thing and see how optimistic you are."

"I ain't scared of it." He says

"I am..." I mutter "what's gonna happen to us if someone dies and turns? If I die? I'm a danger to all of you"

"What you need to do right now is shut up and lay down until I figure out whats gonna happen to y'all, okay?"

Y'all... There's more people sick?

"What do you mean by y..."

And then I can't hold the itching in my throat for one more second. I put the rag covering my nose and mouth and start coughing.

I prefer fighting walkers that having to think a sickness is going to kill me. Maybe because I can see the walker, I can dodge their attacks and act fast against them, I can even predict their movements by now; but an illness, a thing like this is acting in the dark and fast inside me. Silently killing me. I cant kick it away or run form it.

Daryl pushes me slightly until I'm leaning on the wall once more and hands me my water

He waits.

When I stop coughing he tells me trying to be careful "I gotta go to a council meeting."

"Are you gonna tell them?" I grunt and clear my throat "that Im sick?"

"They know. But I gotta see where I gotta take you"

I nod "What if I get you sick?"

He shakes his head "Just wait here. Don't let anyone come close to you unless its me or Rick"

"Rick? Is he sick too?"

"... We were in cellblock D or around you. We've all been exposed..."

I nod and whisper shakily "well, you got it. No one comes in, no one goes out"

"Rest" he tells me and walks out of the cell

I sigh. I like when he acts like this.

Makes me feel better, at least emotionally

I put his poncho on even though I'm sweating and stay on the bunkbed trying to stay awake so no one comes close like he said.

I wonder how high my fever is

Its cold in here

* * *

Daryl came back once more, but now he has a bandana covering half of his face. I can only see his eyes.

I fell asleep again but this time he says it took him longer to wake me up.

I feel so weak, I haven't said a word. He seems to notice it but says nothing, other than explaining what the council said and whats gonna happen to us

Apparently I'm not the only one infected, and they're gonna separate us from the others.

Now, that is not the hard part of it all. The challenge is moving us all into the cellblock.

For me getting up wasn't hard at all, but it took more energy than I have, and after a few steps I lose my balance.

Daryl catches me quickly and holds me on my feet putting an arm around my waist and putting mine around his neck only growling softly "come on, Mad Mac. I got you"

I breathe and give him a thankful look. His skin feels cold against mine.

As we walk down the stairs of the cell block he ends up holding most of my weight for me but we manage to walk out of the place. Slowly, but we do it. One step at a time.

And so, we get to the entrance of cell block A where I can hear people coughing already.

Daryl helps me in slowly

"Get out of here" I whisper to my brother. I don't want him to get sick like us "I can get in a cell myself"

He only clears his throat

This place looks dark and forgotten. More than the tower we spent the night in sometimes after Merle died.

It looks sad and creepy

Looks like the kind of place they send you to die. Once you come in, there is only a tiny, little chance that you get out of here breathing

There is people laying on their beds looking already dead. There is people walking in circles inside their cells shaking and wondering why this is happening, or how much time they have left. Others just seem absent while sitting on the beds or on the floor trying to escape reality

I just find it sad. I wonder how I look and want Daryl to get out of here as soon as possible

By the time my brother finds me an empty cell I'm clinging to him and dragging my feet doing my best to keep walking.

He helps me lay on the bed as we hear more coughing and puts his hand on my forehead one more time.

I move my head away. Im sweating and I don't know if that can make him sick if he touches me. He still does anyway

I see his worried eyes. They make me feel like shit... More than I already do.

He removes his hand and tells me he'll bring medicine for us. I shake my head

"What..." I growl stopping myself from coughing close to him "if you get sick out there? You've been exposed"

"I wont. And I'm not going alone"

"Who...?" I cant hold it anymore and turn away to cough

"I'll be back as son as I can"

I nod and keep coughing

He puts my beretta next to me and nods before leaving me alone to walk out of the cellblock

* * *

I curl into a ball and try to sleep more but its useless. I'm so scared I cant stop thinking, and therefore I cant sleep right now.

Ive been coughing a lot so I end up trying to get on my feet and sitting on the floor on a corner of the cell.

Im cold, but the floor feels good. Daryl's poncho helps a bit.

Last time I coughed it felt like it didn't stop for over a minute. I'm trying to not freak out.

I hear a walker and look up startled. I reach for my gun on my bed and hold it tightly close to me.

I breathe deeply and start coughing once more. I need water...

I look out of my cell to make sure no walkers come close and grab my water without letting go of my weapon.

I drink and soon the bottle is empty.

I lean on the wall hoping Daryl comes back with the medicine quickly.

I look up and close my eyes when the walker's growling stops abruptly knowing someone killed it.

I think of the nightmare I had the other night

I cry...

I am so scared...


	3. Sickness

As the time goes by, more and more people is brought in. One by one.

Sick...

Dying...

Some more than others. Some worse than me.

The sun is coming down now and seems like even some of the little kids were brought to one of the cells upstairs, and two more people have died.

No one has put them down, so they're just walkers locked in cells.

I don't have the guts to kill them. I just sit on the same spot holding my gun shakily and coughing every now and then.

Glenn is in here now as well... He looks really sick

Dr. S came to have a look at me a while ago, but there's just a lot of us and he's only one guy

Some people have loved ones looking after them, some stay like me, alone until we die or Daryl gets back with what we need

Dr.S said that this came from the animals we caught in the woods and then ate. That means my brother could be sick right now as well, only outside and exposed to whatever finds him

I am surprised when I see Hershel look inside my cell and try to focus on him staring at me from the entrance

I whisper with a hoarse voice "not you too..."

He shakes his head and comes closer to me with a white bandana around his face like Daryl "I'm here to help you. Let me give you a hand"

The old man takes my arm and pulls me up slightly but I only shake my head. I don't wanna move

He understands that and leaves me where I am, then kneels next to me, puts his hand on my chin carefully and lifts my face slightly to look at me with a small flashlight in his hand directed right at me

It burns my eyes and makes my head hurt even more. I close my eyes automatically as if something didnt want him to see them but he still forces me to look at him withone eye and then the other by opening my eyelids carefully with two fingers

"Am I dying yet?" I ask weakly once he puts the light down and try to look at him

He hums "Hard to say; Daryl said you had a bad fever in the morning. Just didn't realize how bad it was"

"Thats great... Now what?"

"now you are a baked potato" He jokes and makes me smirk. I think its cute that he's trying to cheer me up after all this.

"Not fried yet." I whisper

"Lets try to avoid that, ok?" He scoffs. Then the joking stops "If your fever keeps going up you'll have serious problems. Hows the coughing?"

"I'm fighting it...trying to keep up with it" I say to him "something to drink would be nice"

"I can see that. You look like you're better than most people here"

I huff and roll my eyes "sure. Cause they got sick before me..." I say sarcastically "you think... Last year had to do with this?"

"You didnt bring this virus"

"I know, but..."

"Well, your lungs have scar tissue which makes them weaker. I told Daryl you're almost as vulnerable as Judith" he says checking my fever like my brother did with the back of his hand "its no surprise you got it"

Which means I have less chance of survival...

I try to stop talking about it. I hate talking about those scars "...You think Daryl's fine?"

"Your brother will be back with the medicine in time, you'll see." He mutters "He always does..."

"We just have to wait and see what happens first. Him coming back or us ending up dead" I grunt and start coughing worse and worse every time. Hershel puts his hand on my back and rubs softly until I stop coughing and are left with effort tears on my eyes and a tired abdomen because of all the pushing air out.

I pant and curse once I get it back "Fucking hell"

Then I remember Hershel is with me and apologize

"Sounds nasty" he says ignoring the bad words

I nod "Is Rick ok?"

I really hope Rick is safe..

The old man pours some sort greenish water into a plastic cup and then hands it to me. I frown but still take it

Tea, I guess... I drink. It doesn't have a taste

"He's fine. He's looking out for the rest of the prison" Hershel replies

I nod "Good"

I just have to drink this thing slowly so it covers my throat completely to stop the coughing

I whisper "I look like shit, don't I?"

"You make the walkers feel pretty again" he smirks

I chuckle "Thanks. That helps a lot"

Hershel puts his hand on my cheek as if I was a little kid and tells me he'll go check on the others now before he turns around to walk out of the cell "drink slowly"

"I will" I clear my throat

And with that, he is gone, and I'm left alone one more time in a rare atmosphere of solitude.

* * *

I'd love to fully relax and sleep a little bit. I feel so tired, but relaxing means bringing my guard down and Rick once told me when we were out in the woods, We are never safe, no matter how safe it looks, how we feel, we never let our guards down.

He said It only takes one second and then its over.

I believe him

I know I need to rest, and I need medication soon. Even my eyes hurt because of the fever it feels as if both were bruised even though they're not. Its just the fever, like everything else bothering me

If they don't bring the medicine soon shit's gonna hit the fan inside my body. I can feel it.

The sound of the walkers is also driving me crazy. Someone's gotta do something about it, it doesn't matter if I don't want to, its gotta be done.

I start moving and get up. I start panting out of exhaustion when I'm finally on my feet but I can't let that stop me

Grabbing my gun tightly I walk out of the cell.

* * *

I stand in front of a cell watching the walker inside trying to get to me, stretching his arms through the bars of the cell and roaring angrily.

Breathing shakily through my nose and mouth I stare at it with my beretta on my right hand.

I take the safety on and off trying to get enough confidence to lift my arm and shoot it, but I knew this man

He was one of the ones who went on runs to get ammunition, or in one of the guard towers. When he first got here he tried to flirt with Maggie and then with me when he realised she's married to Glenn.

I never paid attention to him...

This guy, who couldn't have been more than 27, died faster than most of us and he was perfectly healty yesterday. What a bad luck...

I raise my hand, take the safety off my gun and put a bullet in the chamber. Ready to shoot.

I stare at the walker for another minute before I decide I cant do it. I cant kill him because my mind takes me to that dark place that reminds me Merle was a walker once, and saw Daryl become one in that nightmare

I can't because I feel as if I was killing them for some reason

If I could just pull the trigger... I'd end this thing's suffering

I take a deep breath and aim carefully, but I lower my weapon, unloading it and putting the safety on again feeling frustrated

I look down angry with myself. Its just a fucking walker! Ive killed dozens of them since all this started! I killed some the other day at the Big Spot and now I'm a huge fucking pussy

Shit...

I check my bullets

I only have six of them and if something happens I might need them

I sigh and walk back to my cell coughing...

* * *

It's really dark now...

Im on the bed with Daryl's rag on my forehead and curled up in a fetal position. I put it on because I feel worse now.

I put so much water on it its still cold and dripping right on my eyes to cool them and try to help the pain

I can feel the pressure inside me pressing everything in there and making it difficult to breathe normally without using my mouth and nose together

I feel ridiculous...

But my temperature is all over the place now. I wonder if others can feel the heat coming out of me if they stand a few feet away.

Im also shivering

I would love to stand under the shower to bring the fever down. I'd feel better, but in the state I'm in, I'd be lucky to be able to get out of the cell again

I don't know why it just refuses to go down

Daryl's gonna kill me if I die here...

Hah... What a stupid thought

I'll be fine... A cold cant kill me... It wont take me down...

I need to rest

Somehow I manage to close my eyes and fall asleep leaving my gun close in case I need it

* * *

I've seen Glenn and Hershel taking the dead out.

A lot of them

I'm sitting on the bed with a really absent look on my face.

Hershel gave me more tea but it's not enough anymore.

By this point my ability to distinguish reality from the voices in my head has disappeared. Long gone, wont come back soon.

I woke up to loud music that wasn't really here and faded once I opened my eyes until I couldn't hear it anymore

It creeps me out because I swear I can hear things that are not here sometimes. Voices that are not really saying anything, but more like distorted cries for help.

If this ain't hell I don't know how hell works.

Sometimes they sound a lot like walkers and that's when I can't really decide if they're in my head. Even so, I try to ignore them.

Hershel says its because of the fever. He says he promises I'm not losing my mind and a lot of people can experience hallucinations when having a really bad fever.

It can only mean one thing, my brain is really frying inside my head. In a really fucking painful way that's driving me crazy!

The dying process has started, and like I told Daryl, it creeps the shit outta me.

The moment is approaching. I started coughing out blood

I wont make it...

* * *

I hear a deep voice laughing but I don't know what he's laughing at.. I relate it to one of those demon voices they used to show in the movies

Its weird how I can hear Lucifer laughing and yet I know his voice is not real...

I'm sweating but freezing at the same time and the laugh just changed to a high pitched squirrel-like one

I growl loudly and grab my head with both hands

I can't handle the headache! Just stop!

The fucking voices are not real! I whisper to myself "They're not here... Its all the flu..."

I shut my eyes tightly

Fuck you squirrel! FUCK YOU!

It all disappears...

I open my eyes and remove my hands from my head. I look around with wide scared eyes

I cough and when I finally stop. I try to make sure the laughing is gone

It is quiet except for Hershel's voice mumbling somewhere and some coughing noises from time to time

I take a deep breath and clear my throat to avoid coughing.. Its gone...

The voices. Gone.

I feel relieved

I wonder how much time I have left before this kills me or I truly go crazy...

I rest my head on the wall behind me and finally close my eyes in relief because I'm finally alone in my cell again.

None of my mental demons are chasing me right now. Maybe I can sleep a little more to kill the headache

I wonder how I look right now

"Oh, trust me, Princess. You're not lookin' too great either, y'know…been kinda dead myself, I know how it feels, but you'll be alright"

What the fucking shit!

I snap my eyes open in panic and look around but the voice is gone. Everything is normal again

I swear that was fucking Merle talking to me!

I breathe heavily and move to the corner of the cell like a mentally ill patient

Please, please don't go there...

* * *

I'm shivering

Daryl's poncho ain't helping how cold I feel because my body is dangerously hot.

Since I heard Merle's voice more of them have been haunting me, but not anyone I know.. Or used to know... It all went back to random babbling, laughing, and words related to what I think at the moment

Even singing from time to time

I need to get my shit together.

I think of what Daryl said and whisper the same words hoping he's fine and he gets here soon "come on, Mad Mac..."

I move away from the corner shakily and slowly and manage to grab my gun. I keep it close to me and almost as if I knew what was gonna happen a walker turns around the corner and walks in

I look at it in shock... Its a little girl...

I move back avoiding it as it keeps coming to me and only stare and see how she growls at me and walks forward slowly

I lift my beretta but wait for it to come closer. Since my vision seems blurry and my hands aren't really steady

Its ok, its just a walker.

I can do this...

I can do this!

"Shoot" one of the voices says "shoot it!"

Hershel appears by on the entrance in seconds shocked to see my gun up and the walker coming closer.

"Shoot it!" The voice repeats making me angry

SHUT UP ALREADY!

And then I pull the trigger

I look at the walker that once was a child on the floor and then at Hershel. I lower my weapon

I pant

* * *

The body was taken away by Glenn shortly after that, though I'm still coughing, now increasingly violently, and the fact that I'm hearing things has Hershel's concerns turned towards me.

Dr. S came to take a look at me as well. He also said the voices were normal because of the fever. He promised they will go away

My throat feels like someone used a lighter in there and my chest hurts because of all the coughing, but the worst of it is the headache.

The squirrel voices are singing but I cant figure out which song it is

I've been coughing more blood and feel weaker and weaker each minute

Hershel locked my cell after that. In case I die maybe?

He brought me more tea and I can see the sun is still down. We still have a long night to go

Where is Daryl?

Most of the people here have lost hope or are already dead

I'm so tired...I'm frustrated because I couldn't sleep more than a couple hours that were really not enough.

Sweat is covering my face and neck making my hair stick to it. I swear I'll cut that shit off as soon as I get out of here, if I do.

My breathing is rattling, uneven, and the lack of sleep is only making it worse. Not to mention the bloody coughing

I reach for the plastic cup Hershel left me and drink more of the unflavored tea

"They're taking their time" The scary demonic voice tells me

"Leave me alone" I whisper knowing its just my brain failing to function properly.

The voice speaks Deeply, clearly, inhumanly distorted.

"Daryl is dead" It says "you killed your brother"

"Screw you..."

The voice laughs "How cute, Look at you. You're going nuts!"

I think for a moment "you're probably right" I mumble.

Considering I'm talking to myself..

"'Course I am…when have I ever been wrong...?"

"You're not even real... Fuck off…"

"You killed him"

"I didn't do shit!"

"First you let Merle die and now you're doing the same to Daryl!."

"Fuck off"

"Murderer"

"I said fuck off!" I roar angrily and the voice laughs. It disappears after that.

I really hope it stops when the fever goes away. This is really scary

I hear a soft noise by my side and look through the bars of the cell. Glenn is looking at me seeming almost as sick as I am, only not hallucinating

"How're you doing..?" He asks worried "I heard you screaming"

"Yeah.. I'm going nuts" I tell him covering my face with my hands

"Is it... The voices you said?"

I nod "I don't know if I can keep this up much longer. "

I hear as if he leaned on the bars "how so?"

I uncover my face and look back up at him "Its not just babbling now. They started talking to me..."

opening the cell and walking in to sit next to me, Glenn takes my hand and looks at me in the eye frowning slightly "You know they aren't real"

"I'm tired, I feel like I'm shutting down slowly"

"Don't." He says "You'll make it... We will"

"How can you be so sure?" I cough.

"I..." He chuckles "I don't know...Depends how optimistic you are I suppose."

I look down "I'm scared..."

"I know" he tells me gently and cleans his throat "me too"

* * *

More people have passed away. The others feel even more miserable, including me.

Each minute that passes has been more tense, but at the same time resignation becomes more evident

Glenn got me to help him and Hershel to those looking worse than us and more frightened. I think he wants me to keep my mind occupied to try to stop me from going crazy, and I thank him for that. More that he imagines

We give others the tea, that I don't know where it comes from but helps, and just wait to see what happens next since thats all we can do

We take those who die out and prevent them from turning unless they're already walkers

The voices are still here, trying to tell me what to do, or just making fun of me or others. Sometimes they cry and say they're in pain or that I'm already tuning into one of the undead.

Its all bullshit. I do my best to ignore them.

At least I haven't heard Merle again... Or the other voice...

Even if I'm weak and I lean on the walls from time to time, I do my best to help Hershel

The day is passing by quickly again and the group hasn't been back with the medicine. Im really worried about them

I follow Glenn to check on another person and see how he's doing since last time we saw him.

I feel worse than ever...

I try to take deep breaths to keep myself calm but everything becomes slower. I lean on the wall.

The noise fades slowly and I see Glenn look back at me with a worried look.

I see his lips muttering my name but my brain isn't registering any sound at all.

I stop feeling the world around me and my vision darkens, but not completely, only enough to let me focus on one thing. Glenn...

He's staring at me with a confused frown while I keep breathing heavily and then suddenly I find myself falling while the air entering my body stops

Just like last time, I panic, and I try to breathe as hard as I can, but all I feel is thick blood blocking my throat

Then I see how the asian man yells what I think is Hershel's name when I cough out the first puddle of blood as if I was vomiting, except this ain't food, just pure thick blood

Hershel and Sasha are next to me in seconds and I look at them gasping for air, even though I know it wont work anyway.

I see him saying something to which Glenn and Sasha nod and are about to jump on me like we did to put respirators on others.

I try to wait for them to put it in and push some air into my already damaged lungs, but the veterinarian regrets his decision and stops them

Glenn widens his eyes and looks horrified. What is he seeing?! Whats happening to me!?

Then I get it...

I feel as if electricity ran up and down my body violently and extremely painfully before my eyes roll back and I pass out

* * *

 **3rd person pov...**

"Hold her down" Hershel commanded with the respirator tube ready on his hands trying to do all that was possible for him to save the youngest Dixon, but just as Glenn was about to obey Hershel noticed the reaction the girl had and stopped him right then and there.

The asian looked at him confused for a second until he realized what was happening.

The kid was lying there, struggling to breathe on the ground before one of her hands twitched and her eyes rolled back and remaining white, showing nothing but scary expression. thats when Hershel knew.

Blood dripped down her nose and mouth, her body suddenly cramping up and flinching and as if she was being electrocuted.

"Whats happening to her?!" Sasha observed in horror and tried to do something but the old man kept her from reacting

"Don't touch her!" He said putting a hand in front of them

"What?! She's dying!" The asian argued

"Its a seizure. Maybe caused by the high fever she's dealing with. Dont touch her"

"But she's not breathing!" Glenn said still holding himself back to obey the veterinarian

"Well, then you better prepare for when she stops" The old man muttered kneeling close to her and only stabilizing the girl's head a little, then watching with caution

Glenn coughed "Daryl's gonna kick my ass six ways to Sunday..."

Just like Rick said, It took one second. Only one second, and then, her body went completely limp after that. No more struggle, no breathing, no nothing

* * *

 _ **Aaand cliffhanger! she's dying again!**_

 _ **well, she's got the sickness so I couldnt just make her more resistant to it than the others or even immune or immortal. Everyone's gotta die at some point! No one is safe in this crazy world. TV SHOW SPOILER ALERT \- (I thought Abe was safe and now he's dead. Negan did suck his nuts apparently) **__**END OF SPOILER**_

 _ **Lets face it, I like it when she suffers... Sorry, True story**_

 ** _Y'all know I dont use 3rd person pov unless I really need to, but she couldnt tell what was happening at the moment so... Yeah, there's that._**

 ** _Oh well, thank you everyone for reviewing! I love reviews (:_**

 ** _I hope you readers dont kill me for changing the POV last moment and hope you like this chapter_**

 ** _what would Daryl do if he saw her right now? (Or Merle, but he's dead...)_**

 ** _Thank you for reading (;_**


	4. Is this real?

Every now and then, Mac would show a small glimpse of life, closing her hand or outstretching her fingers weakly. Sometimes trying to open her eyes but failing badly at it

There was no need to tell this to Daryl, right? She was fine, or at least Hershel said so...

As long as she was alive there was no need to make him go crazy by telling him what had happened to his little sister. Maybe until she was better and they were a 100% she was out of danger.

After all, becoming a walker is never easy

They took the poncho away from her and now there wasn't just a wet rag on her forehead, but with clothes and everything they carefully managed to put her under the showers in a desperate attempt to get her body temperature down to normal levels.

Hershel knew it was another risk. An extremely hot body suddenly hit with ice cold water could cause a lot more problems than the 18 year old already had, but he also knew that to cause a seizure a human body has to be around 104 and 106 degrees before it damages the brain. If her's kept going up organ failure was more a fact than a possibility, followed by permanent brain damage, cardiac arrest, and eventually, death.

He expected at least a minimal reaction when the Dixon girl was carried into the shower by Sasha and himself, he didn't risk Glenn on this one, but to his surprise the only response he got was a grunt that got almost completely silenced by the respirator he had inserted on her and Sasha worked on every few seconds.

After all that chaos it was hard to see her as she was. On one of the beds

She looked calm with Tyreese's sister by her side, and when the old man checked on her he felt relieved to feel her body cooling off slowly, not enough to call it a normal temperature, but enough to tell she had the chance to make it

Sometimes she wasn't completely unconscious. She just went back and forth into that state and could even feel Sasha's work on her, only she couldn't place what it was. She could clearly feel something was helping her worn out lungs to inflate with a slow, dull ache every few seconds, and deep inside in the back of her mind she knew it was a good thing so didn't she didn't even try to stop it

It wasn't comfortable at all, but with how fast she'd pass out she didn't have the time to complain, or enough energy to let them know she was better, until she stood in that place away from everything.

She didn't regain any kind of consciousness after that for a long time. Not even the slightest eye movement, but she was alive, and thats all that mattered at the moment.

Save as many people as possible...

* * *

I know Im dreaming, but its calm in here. No more pain, no more worries. I could stay here forever. I'm sure no one would worry about me here.

I'm on a raft floating in an infinite ocean of calm blueish water. Ive never been to the beach or the ocean before so this makes me happy.

Peace is what I feel at the moment

Im just like lying on my back on top of the raft looking to my side at the blueish clear water. I even start feeling sleepy until something hits my raft and pushes me down to the water.

I might not know how to really swim, I was never taught, but I know based on logic that breathing in causes you to float since theres air inside you and air floats

I try to breathe in but I cant.

I try to swim upwards but I only sink more and more as I try.

I start feeling the weight of my body one more time. I feel cold and my hair and clothes are wet.

I sink all the way down to the bottom as I try to breathe or swim to the surface but I don't know how to do it.

Where's my raft?! I need it! I need to float!

Air!

I start feeling my heart beating faster and faster and then...

A shrieking scream wakes me up and makes me aware of the danger around me. As I open my eyes I hear walkers growling and slowly see their shadows appearing until my brain fixes the image of them trying to reach me through the cell bars that are closed and keeping me protected in the small space.

I come back to realize something choking me. I know what it is

I feel the weight of the plastic tube and everything Hershel and Glenn put inside my throat causing a small amount of air entering my system and hurting me

I do my best to sit on the bed without taking the eyes off the undead and hold the respirator with both hands to avoid hurting my throat even more

I try to breathe in deeply knowing what I'm gonna do and preparing for it.

I pull the tube out closing my eyes tightly in pain. I feel like I'm gonna puke with this inside my mouth.

I feel the reflex working and try my best to not vomit when I finally pull the tube out of my mouth.

I breathe in as deep as I can feeling relief as my lungs fill completely with air

Fuck yes!

Oxygen!

I growl uncomfortably and try to look for my gun annoyed by the walkers roaring angrily as they see me move

My gun is not here

I stare at the walkers for a moment and hear a soft voice saying "come on. Over here"

Lizzy?

One of the walkers turns following the noise, two stay concentrated on me.

I know Lizzy. Lizzy is a kid and I wont let them kill her.

I stand up from the mattress and end up leaning on the wall as my vision darkens and the room spins. My heart beat gets louder and louder until I breathe deeply and it starts coming back down and my vision gets normal slowly

Good

I breathe and breathe and keep looking around. There is a bottle.

Glass...

I move to it and take it. I break it on the wall leaving a sharp edge and stumble to where the walkers are to see if it works.

I stick it in one of their eyes and see it collapse. I'm happy with the result.

I kill the other one afterwards and using a lot of energy push the cell open

I see Hershel rushing killing walkers on his own. My gun on the floor near the stairs and Lizzy calling the attention of a walker as if it could understand her.

I move as fast as I can to get my gun and lean to breathe on the stairs because of the dizziness that comes back. I push myself back up and go up the stairs following the walker that left the other two in my cell to keep it away from the girl.

She's got a good dad and sister who don't deserve to lose her...

I move close to the undead and shoot it but the bullet misses. I reload

I hear the girl screaming in panic and look back up

I curse moving closer and shoot the walker once more right on the back of the head.

The walker Lizzy was calling is now on top of her. I reload and try to shoot it but change my mind when I remember I'm really shaky and could hit her instead of the walker.

I approach them.

I take the walker from behind

I pull it away from her groaning because of all the energy that takes from me. I tighten my jaw and push the walker to the wall making sure it's head crashes first and then let it fall to see if that impact kills it.

Lizzy looks at me with wide eyes while the walker keeps growling softly and I grunt stomping on its head so it beaks and my foot smashes the gross and infected brain against the ground.

I pant and look up to Lizzy. I hear gunshots.

I wait until my body can move again to take the girl's arm and take her with me. I dont think I'm bit or scratched.

I see Hershel noticed what I did but keeps trying to fight the walkers.

I put Lizzy in a cell where another scared kid is and lean on the wall to breathe. My head pounds as if it was going to explode and my vision darkens one more time.

"Glenn!" Lizzy tells me looking concerned

Glenn?

Oh, Glenn! Got it.

I stumble around trying to avoid walkers until I use the wall again

I see Glenn on the floor chocking. I start limping or whatever this I'm doing is called, cause I really think this fucking movement don't have a name, and move slowly towards him until my body warns me I can't keep going.

Almost there...

I kneel unable to stand up and keep breathing heavily. I try to call out his name but my throat wont make a sound other than a frustrated grunt.

I hear Maggie's voice screaming her father's name. I feel relief knowing she's gonna help him with the walkers

But Glenn...

I pass out only a few feet from him being unable to save him.

* * *

There's a nasty metallic taste on my tongue, I'm pretty sure it is blood. At one point, the gunshots stop.

Is that my brother...?I hear Daryl's voice echoing through the cell block.

I'm still on the floor. I try to open my eyes and whisper trying to call him but once more, my vocal cords are useless

I think, If I'm not hallucinating again, Daryl is here now. I feel how someone lifts me up and hear his voice again saying something but it sounds distorted. He seems anxious

I feel how he puts me down somewhere but instead of the floor it is a soft surface

I am too tired to pay attention to what he's demanding. I don't even bother on trying to understand it...

Don't focus on me! Go help Glenn!

Hershel's voice is far away. As if he wasn't with Daryl but was still telling him something

"Yeah, I feel one" he says

"Daryl..." I manage to whisper and try to focus on him while hershel says

"be careful with it, you dont wanna bruise her"

"Hold still" I think my brother says

A sharp pain bites down one of my arms. I frown and growl

"Glenn..." I mutter before I close my eyes once more taking a deep breath

"Hershel's on it. Its ok" my brother tells me "you're ok..." then says something else I didn't get

I mumble weakly "hurts..."

Daryl looks down to my arm carefully and then whispers "shit..." he says loudly to Hershel "I ripped it!"

"find another one, she'll be alright"

"alright, here goes nothing..." He growls rubbing my arm with one of his fingers with a little of pressure too. It fucking hurts...

After that, things just go back to nothing.

* * *

I open my eyes slowly, breathing deeply and looking around me. How long was I out?

Daryl?

My eyes find Rick's gentle ones. He's sitting next to me on a foldable chair

Why is he here? It's dangerous. Is he sick too?

I grunt in pain

"Rick?" I ask and frown a bit. My voice sounds raspy and as if I was whispering, but its just that my throat is hurt from all the things that happened

"Welcome back" he says softly

My eyes are too sensitive to the light that now comes into the cell block. The bed seems different, am I finally in my cell?

Oh, I would love to be in my cell...

The rifle in the corner of the room and Merle's wristband on a small table behind Rick confirm it. They moved me back to C

I think my cell has the advantage of already being isolated in the upper corner of the cell block so I am really no threat anymore unless they come in here

I try to sit but I'm too weak to do it. "Woah, easy" Rick whispers and helps me lie back down "easy..."

I close my eyes once more time still feeling a slight headache and growl. I put my arm over my eyes "still hurts..."

"I know. You'll feel better tomorrow"

I move my arm back down to look at him and feel some kind of pain on it.

So thats what I felt..

There's a small needle in there, my arm is bruised around it. It is attached to a small tube, which I follow and ends in an IV bag hanging from the upper bed next to the poncho

Daryl's poncho...

"Daryl...?" I mutter turning to look at the former sheriff with my dark, sick, and concerned eyes

"He's alright. He's helping us fix the fences out there" he tells me seeming calm "You don't worry about any of them."

I close my eyes letting out a relieved, yet tired, breath and then look back at him. I stay quiet. Just eyeing him. His eyes, his beard. He looks a little tired as well "you?" I ask

He tilts his head a little "I'll live."

I smirk

"I'll tell Daryl you were awake for a minute. You need to rest" he tells me looking as if he's about to leave

I nod "thank you"

I move slightly to a more comfortable position and to try and sleep a little but stop immediately after I see him coming closer to me and only stare at him with a blank expression.

I feel a soft kiss on my forehead, which also felt weird because of his growing beard...

Before I can register what is happening he's walking away

I feel surprised and cant take my eyes off him until he disappears outside of the cell and I hear him go down the stairs...

What was that...?

* * *

 _ **Ohhhh It's happening! Just because all of you have been requesting Rick/Mac since the moment Lori died, or since she stood with him when Carl got shot... or was it before? I dont know, but you seem to like it when I give a hint of the pairing. I had to give y'all a little something for being such good readers (;**_

 _ **Daryl played nurse on her and broke her vein haha oops**_

 _ **Have a nice TWD night everyone! Dont let Negan own you.**_


	5. The unhappy ending

Things have been awkward around Rick since yesterday... He doesn't seem to notice it, but I feel weird around him. Something in my belly that I've never felt before

I prefer to ignore it and keep it for myself.

No one needs to gossip about it, no one needs to let him know

Daryl knows something is bothering me. He knows me perfectly, but he'll never know that I'm thinking about our leader

I wont let him know. He'd kill me

I cant lie to myself. I find Rick attractive...

Very attractive.

But After Lori I don't think he's...I'm just too young for him anyway. Just a kid

No one needs to know I feel like a stupid teenager with a crush for someone who could be my father...

...Yeah, thats it...

Rick is a father to me, or at least thats what I try to tell and convince myself about. Nothing but the father figure I never had.

He'd never... I'm just...

Shit. I'm nothing but a stupid kid who's needs to get back to reality. Its the fucking apocalypse! We cant let ourselves be weak

Besides, Lori said it. I'm nothing to him but his 'daughter'

Thats how she said he sees me. Maybe I just confused the meaning of that kiss...

Ugh! I need to stop thinking about it... I'm causing myself more trouble than its worth it...

He was right though. I am up and walking around the cellblock.. Or was throughout the day. Its getting dark now.

Whoever isn't sick from the group is having diner in the cell area except for me. I don't know who cooked, Carol's been awol all day making me wonder where she is or if she's fine...

Anyway, while everyone eats I'm in the hall sitting on one of the picnic tables near the small and separated cell that once belonged to my oldest brother.

Just staring at it. Thinking.

I cant believe I heard him in between all those hallucinations... Maybe I just miss him more than I thought

"Hey Mac," I hear my youngest brother's voice behind me and turn to look at him "you coming?"

He looks like he's having a good time. I heard him messing with Carl and making Beth, Michonne, and Hershel laugh. There's not many of us left in here since Maggie and Glenn are still in block A

Daryl's eyes tell me he'll keep joking around once he gets back to them and that actually makes me happy for him. He doesn't do that often and its good when he does.

He's changed a lot for good. He seems happier now.

I look down for less than a second before facing him once more and nod slightly "yeah, just... Go ahead. I'll be there in a minute"

His expression changes from amused to a saddened one getting perfectly that I just need to be alone for a moment and nods giving me an understanding "alright. Want me to save something for you?"

Fuck yes, food

I smirk "sure"

My brother leaves me alone. Hershel told me the bruise on my arm was made by him trying to get the IV right since he was busy saving Glenn

My brother's a cute asshole. Toughest son of a bitch alive, but still cute when he wants to be

I take a deep breath and get up to head inside the cell. This place is actually one of the warmest places of the building, maybe because it has a window on top of it that lets all the sun in in the afternoons.

Almost nothing is left from Merle but an abandoned shirt on the corner and the tape he used to fix his arm back then. I look at both objects

The sun is setting quickly making a reddish light come through the huge windows on the wall.

I sit on the dusty mattress and then lie on it.

I look to my side and smirk watching Carl trying to wrestle Daryl, both laughing like everyone else around them

I ignore the sound of the main gate opening and then closing until footsteps come closer.

Unexpectedly, Rick's eyes look at me while his body leans on the bars that make the entrance of the cell.

I look up to him with no expression at all on my face.

Lori was so lucky. I understand she thought he was dead, but she was so stupid to not control the situation with Shane and set things straight...

Im very glad no one can hear my thoughts right now!

I hate myself for thinking like this. Makes me feel weak, but I still just look at him and well...

"What?" I ask wondering why he just looks at me

"You planning on sleeping here?" Rick asks simply

I sit up, and think for a moment "no.. I'm just.. Remembering the fallen" I mutter as I watch him sit beside me. I look down

"I'm sorry" I hear him say. He never said sorry before about Merle's death...

"Thank you..." I whisper

"It's very nice, this spot." He says watching his son playing with my brother while Hershel and Beth laugh and Michonne plays judge on them

"Careful" Hershel says as the boys roll close to the stairs and with a quick movement of his leg, Daryl redirects Carl saving him from breaking his nose and stands up ready for another round of... Try to tame Daryl...? Is that the game?

I smirk "yeah. Its been a while since they laughed like that"

He nods "yeah..."

There is a moment of silence between us, an awkward silence. I watch him as he looks forward at his now teenage son and baby Judith on Beth's arms

"Who's on watch?" I ask feeling concerned and nervous by how close he is to me

"Ty."

"Just one man?"

"He's with Bob. " He tells me as he looks at me "You look better"

"I am better. hanging up just fine"

He nods and again no one says a word for a moment.

Rick stands up and offers me a hand. The red sun light is gone so Carl and my brother stop practicing Brazilian jiu jitsu to avoid more accidents in the dark. I see Daryl's eyes on us now while our leader speaks "Lets see if theres anything left to eat"

I take his hand but make sure to let go of it once I'm on my feet "ok..." I mumble and we walk to where the others are.

I have a flashback of Merle telling me with a frustrated voice

'Please tell me you ain't flirting with the sheriff...'

I'm trying not to, Merle...

* * *

Daryl spent the night in watch outside helping Tyreese and Bob. I wanted to go with him, but Hershel didn't let me out of the block before he left to check on Glenn and the others. He said he'll let me out today though

Yesterday was a good day after all. The only thing that I disliked was the fact that I couldn't be around Judith, but I saw her playing with the giraffe I got for her.

That cheered me up a little

I am so happy because I get to go outside for the first time in days and feel the sun on my skin, the fresh air, everything I couldn't have locked in here.

I cant wait to be outside

If I'm lucky maybe I get to go on runs with the others soon. I hope Hershel allows me to

The day seems to pass by slowly but it looks like its gonna be a good day like yesterday.

I'm just waiting for Daryl to come and tell me I can go out now.

I don't have to wait for long. He comes into the cell block and nods towards the door with a proud smirk on his lips.

I smile and hurry to be outside like a dog that was locked in a tiny apartment and someone opened the door suddenly

My mind screams 'yessssss!'

Fun fact, I'm still wearing the poncho. Just because it makes me comfortable and warm.

I think I wont give it back to my brother ever!... Unless he needs it

I am super happy. I feel free. No more four walls and gray, sad environment

I wander around and see the rest of the group, the ones that were not sick, doing their chores like any other day.

I can't wait to help them tomorrow. Carl sits next to me a while after Hershel talked to me.

Once again, I thanked him for all he did. He's a great man. Those kinds of people are extinct now

He told me a funny story about his experience with the first animals he had to practice with when his grand father taught him how to milk a cow

Carl and I are talking about what happened on our side of the prison while we all were quarantined until the sky starts to get darkened by grayish clouds that can only mean its gonna rain.

Shit...

The sun hides behind them and after a while Rick gets close to us. I try to act normal while he tells us to be inside in case it rains.

We agree. We get up from the table telling to get back inside feeling the weather get a little colder

Once inside I grab something else to eat and drink more water. We talk to Beth for hours

We talk about Judith, they tell me about their families, about all the holidays they had together trying to make me imagine since Santa Claus never gave me a thing and I knew it was everyone's parents since I was 3, believing in that sounds fun, and then we talk about the stories that happened to us when we were in high school and middle school.

Their stories are really different from mine I find it hard to believe Beth had three boyfriends in 9th grade and think its funny that Carl was pretty normal in 7th when he kills undead now.

Both find it difficult to believe that I was already on 12th grade just before the outbreak and got expelled for almost castrating a guy in the middle of the cafeteria for making fun of me and my family. I had to start school very early since I had no mom and the men were all busy.

They laugh when I tell them how Daryl was super grumpy while Merle almost celebrated my fighting

I remember Daryl had to go get me off the handcuffs in the principal's office and she told him to stop talking profanity

I still wonder how I did it, but don't regret it

The three of us laugh at my story. Life was easier when it was all about society. Even if I could never fit in, we didn't have to worry for food or water, we just had to walk over to the nearest seven eleven, if we were sick we just bought 'NyQuil' or whatever the fuck the name of the medicine that made me sleepy was. We could sleep without being afraid of the things outside our walls.

I like Carl and Beth. They're the only friends Ive ever had that are almost my age

My brother comes in the cell block one more time and tells them my story is true when they ask him. He says he was pissed, but he understood why all that happened.

Then he says he needs to talk to me about what happened while I was in block A

What happened? Doesn't sound good at all...

He makes me go back to my cell, then sits in front of me and explains the situation.

Carol... She killed two people...

Burned them

Rick sent her away after that. Is that why I heard them arguing in the morning?

"You need to understand why Rick did it" he says whispering to me

This was a complete buzzkill. There goes my good mood

"I do..." I whisper back "I just can't believe she..."

I look down saddened by the things he just said to me. We like Carol. She gets us

"Yeah... I don't like it either, but we cant do anything about it now."

"I know..." I just don't think we'll see her again and that makes me sad

Shit goes down right then and there

Daryl looks around startled and I look at him almost in panic when an explosion rocks the entire place. He looks at me with wide eyes full of confusion as dust crumbles on us from the ceiling

My eyes are on his, and full of fear only showing one question 'whats going on?'

He looks up to see the crack that formed above is on the concrete and asks absently "What the fuck?"

I look at it too

What could've been strong enough to cause that on something so hard?

I get up, put my beretta on my holster and take the rifle on the corner in case I need it.

We run outside to see what happened

* * *

Out in the cloudy late afternoon I call my brother's name in shock when I see that one of the towers was nothing but a flaming beacon with a lot of smoke coming from it

He frowns.

We keep walking until we meet group gathered near one of the fences watching something in the field looking confused, scared and in utter shock

When we join them I gasp seeing the group of people around a huge fucking military tank. Guns ready to kill us all.

Who the fuck...? Another war? We're not in good shape right now.. We lost a lot of people and they have a fucking tank!

The tank says everything!

I hear Daryl whisper "Fuck..." And then I see what really is happening

"Holy shit..." I whisper too.

how is he even still alive? I thought he was dead

Rick comes from behind us and stares as well not being able to believe the governor came back to declare war on us one more time

* * *

"Rick!" We all hear his voice.

It gives me chills but at the same time anger fills my body. Ive been waiting months to kill this asshole.

I tighten the grip on my rifle and hear my brother telling me we cant while Philip keeps speaking

"Come down here. We need to talk."

"It's not up to me." Rick yells back "There's a council now. They run this place."

What happens next makes our blood run cold.

Both Beth and Maggie get closer to the fence, hands going to their mouths in horror as their father is pulled from one of the vehicles, and soon after, Michonne joins them.

"Is Hershel on the council?" The governor asks "What about Michonne? She on the council, too?"

I really want to kill this asshole.. But to be honest, his tank freaks me out

Looking super anxious Rick replies "I don't make decisions anymore."

We hear the guy laugh "You're making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let's have that talk."

Our leader looks around to us trying to decide what to do. I nod slightly telling him to do it. We'll back him up.

Daryl opens the gate for him.

* * *

We cant hear a single word of what's going on down there, but seems like Rick is giving us time to do something because its taking too damn long . I see his hand tapping his leg with his gun anxiously and let Daryl know about it

Rick knows we use morse code sometimes when we're hunting. I didn't know he knows how to use it.

We watch his movements carefully. My brain translates an image quickly

'.- . .- .-. - -. ...'

'W-E-A-P-O-N-S'

Daryl moves as careful as possible and without saying a word to start giving rifles and guns to the people watching using Carl's help without letting the group down there notice. He and Sasha talk quickly about something. Once done he comes back to my side

"You think they're here for the prison..?" I mutter glancing to Daryl, who just keeps his eyes on the tank and the people around it

"Or they just want us dead..."

"It's been months…Why wouldn't they come back sooner?"

"Make us lower our guard." My brother replies thinking of something "Looks like it worked. Wait for our worst moment"

I nod. He's right. The flu killed a lot of us. We're outnumbered

"Reload" he whispers giving me bullets for my rifle discretely. I nod and take them the same way moving behind him and doing it

I clear my throat and then cough. Yeah, I still cough sometimes... I was supposed to be 100% in a few days, but now even living through this is questionable

"Things go south, everyone heads for that bus." Daryl says tilting his head to where the old prison bus is

I nod "For how long do we fight?"

"As long as we can." Daryl says "Move to Maggie. Tell her to pass the message"

I do as he says and after having all aimed at someone we wait. We just wait...

* * *

I widen my eyes when I see the sword going up and then coming down right on Hershel's neck causing Maggie and Beth to scream desperately and cry.

Rick starts backing away from the fence screaming and shoots. Thats the sign

I pull the trigger first, then Carl and Daryl, then Sasha and the rest killing as many as we can but from this distance is hard to make the bullets hit their target

Death is nothing new for us anymore, we ain't really scared of it, the problem comes when its someone we love instead of ourselves. The fact that Hershel is the one to be killed is gut wrenching.

He was like the voice of wisdom that didn't let us kill ourselves like little kids playing with guns and now he's gone too.

Its not only that. What are we gonna do out there once more? We don't have enough supplies to make it

It doesn't take long for the tank to blow holes into the cellblocks as if inviting every walker in Georgia to come and play with us.

Walkers aren't priority right now, but hell they are a threat.

Backing away from the last fence everyone runs their way to defend our home and whoever is still inside. I see Lizzy and Mika staring at us from the entrance of the cellblock and run to them. I kneel quickly to be their height glancing over to the field from time to time and tell them "Listen to me, girls. You go inside, Tell everyone to evacuate as soon as possible. You hear me? Immediately. See the bus right there?"

They nod with wide eyes

"Thats where everyone's gotta go. Take Judith with you and keep her safe, alright? Remember, Judith goes first"

"Yes ma'am" Lizzy responds and at the same moment the tank gets through the fence followed by the people. I get up as fast as I can and shoot to protect them and give them time into the building

"Hurry!" I tell them and they run inside

Soon the plan of evacuating someone ends up in chaos as the governor's group fills the area and everyone runs to save their own lives in a terrified way. No one listens to any instruction. They just run for the bus.

Before we can register it they take off leaving us here. I growl angrily

I hope the girls listened to me and took Judith to the bus safely.

I run to help Daryl

* * *

Not sure how it happened but I am now running away from the prison with two guys chasing me deep into the woods.

I got separated from my brother. The last person I saw was Michonne running down to the field

I am confused and scared. I am tired of running

I stop to cough and look around me thinking I need a plan since the two men are close behind me... I climb the closest tree desperately and wait up there to see how they stop running looking for me.

I wait for the right moment and hear an explosion coming from the prison making me feel even more worried and desperate

My brother is still back there... He's still there...

I look down to the distracted guys. They're looking around trying to find me

I need to go back. I need to help them

I take a deep and quiet breath and let myself fall on top one of them guys making sure the butt of my rifle hits him right on the head with all my weight applying force to it

Feeling his skull break is so weird...

It crunches under my weapon as he unconsciously shoots killing his friend in the process

My arm snaps when I hit the ground making me roar in pain and roll holding my shoulder, but I still get up breathing heavily only thinking I have to move and get to Rick and the rest of the group

I manage to get on my feet staring at the dead men carefully in case they've got a gun ready to kill me, but the first one's head is pudding and the other one was shot right in the face. None of them made it

What a lucky bitch I am...

I grunt still holding my arm and look around trying to figure out where is the prison and then walk back to the hoping to find someone

* * *

Shocking

There is no other word to describe this. I cant take my shocked eyes off the burning tank and destroyed building.

The walkers. The destruction.

No one could've stayed and survived. No one could've made it unless they ran

Ive never seen anything like this...

* * *

 **Yeah, that morse code thing that happened to be around recently...** **Seems like something these guys could do, right?**

 **That thing she has for Rick is the real deal! or just the heat of the moment?** **btw I also think Rick is way too old for Mac. Just saying..** **I see him more like her dad but she just she doesnt think that way, she likes him. We all had a (harmless) crush on someone older than us at some point in our lives... Or was it just me in 10th grade?... (Awkward?)**

 **Anyway, if this chapter had missing stuff I am trully sorry! College is driving me nuts! I love my writing free time, but its hard to write ten minute shootings... Forgive this shitty author please, I have more action coming for you guys. I promise**

 **Thank you for reading! I wouldnt be doing this if y'all didnt responded to it in such a good way. It makes me happy (:**

 **Next chapter coming soon! (Can I play 'try to tame Daryl'?)**


	6. Into the wild

I sit next to the fire and stare at it absently trying to figure out how it is that all this happened. I went back to the prison to look for Daryl but no one in there could've made it. The tank was destroyed. I've never seen so many walkers in one place, not even in the farm.

Its all gone...

I wanted to move to look for the others, but what if someone is still nearby?

The ground is full of footprints. One on top of the other. It's impossible to track them

I seriously doubt I'll find anyone around here, but had to try

I have no food, or water. Hopefully shelter wont be necessary until it starts raining, But I still gotta find a way of hunting without a quiet weapon. I only have a couple bullets left in my beretta, so suppressed or not, I cant just waste my bullets hunting and the assault rifle is practically empty as well...

I am so fucked...

We finally had something. A safe place. A home... He just decided to blow everything up not even to live in it, but to have fun and show who had bigger ballsMy stomach rumbles. I hold my arm gently and listen to everything that may be around me.

I cant climb a tree like this, if walkers come by I gotta stay hidden or kill them as quietly as possible

I sit alone and confused in the dark

I cant be the only one that made it, someone had to get out too. I just gotta find them.

Right?

I cough slightly and look up to the sky when I see the fire starting to die.

* * *

The sky is changing from black to blue slowly. The sun is rising

I get up slowly, put the poncho on and the rifle around my healthy shoulder wishing I had a backpack to store food or water when I find it.

I start walking.

I'm pretty sure the bus went through 72. I just gotta find it and follow it

It was headed for Macon.

I hop over the fence on the highway looking around and deciding which way will lead me there

Michonne wanted to go to Macon so in my head it seems like it's a good plan. Hopefully I find someone around

* * *

I've been walking for about two, maybe three hours, and nothing. Not even walkers.

I'm still hungry, but more thirsty than ever. At least I haven't coughed.

I drag my feet tiredly regretting being up all night but I know it was necessary. I walk until I see the prison bus appearing small in the distance.

I stop and try to take a better look at it.

I widen my eyes and start running as fast as I can when I see the state it's in. I don't care if the rifle hits and bruises my spine as I run. I gotta see if someone made it

The emergency exit is open and about eight to ten walkers are dead around it

I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Could be both

I examine the walkers on the floor by looking at their clothes and faces to check if I see anyone from the original group before Woodbury without finding anything important

They're not here but the bus and the dead walkers could mean someone passed through here and I need to catch up with them. Too bad it's concrete I'm standing on and I can't track on concrete. Daryl taught me that its time consuming, and wont have any result unless there's snow

It simply wont work now

I walk to the side of the bus to check if whoever was here left a message but the bus has nothing but dirt on it. I put my hand on it to see if its dirty enough so I can write something.

The bus is left with my hand print on it

I raise my index finger and write in big letters

'Ass Kicker?'

I was only writing 'Ass Kicker' at first, but I need them to understand that I am looking for them, not that I have Judith... I really wish I did, but for now I think is best to just ask for someone to follow the road in a way that other groups might not get

I step aside to look at my sign and only stare for a moment before I turn to start walking.

* * *

I hear a truck coming. I'm pretty sure its not one of the governor's because I saw each and every one of those on fire back there...

I step back and wait to see who's driving. Hopefully one of the group.

The military truck grows in size as it comes closer until it stops right in front of me.

That ain't no one I know...

I try to lift my rifle with my healthy arm and wait for whoever is in there to come down

Both doors open. One showing a tall redhead guy with a pretty badass mustache and the other a hispanic chick with a rifle similar to mine. Theres someone else in the vehicle but I cant really see him.. Or her?

They shut their truck and move closer while I step back a little. We stare at each other for a while

"The fuck you looking at?" I ask the redhead. He chuckles

"The fuck you looking at?" He replies "what a pretty mouth you got, kid"

"Try me"

"You do realize you're in the middle of the road"

"You do realize I don't care" I cough

"You alone?" The hispanic says not even bothering to threaten me with the rifle she has.

"Maybe" I grunt and clear my throat suddenly more aware of how hungry and dehydrated I am "who are you?"

"Lower the rifle." The redhead commands

"Sure, so you can shoot me first? I asked you a question"

They look at each other

"I don't have time for this bullshit" the man turns and starts climbing up to the truck again. "You better move"

The woman gives me a 'sorry kid' look and turns as well

"Woah! Hold up!" I call them

They ignore me. I try to make them angry so they listen to me

"Yo ginger dick!"

They stop what they're doing to look back at me. The guy looks annoyed, so I look at him the same way

I tighten my jaw anxiously

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you" I tell him.

"Listen, we're on a tight schedule so you better start now" he says walking closer to me. I hold the rifle tighter

"See the smoke back there?" I point behind me "I don't think a lot of us made it out and I need supplies to find them. I wanna make a deal with you"

"you mean your group?"

I nod

Both rise their eyebrows before giving me confused looks. I explain raising the rifle "This baby for a full bottle of water and popping my shoulder back in place"

The man snorts "thats it?"

"What were you expecting?"

The redhead thinks about it and nods to the rifle coming closer "how do I know I can trust you?"

"You don't" I say "but like I said, I gotta find my people and if you'd stop trying to kill me with that look and cooperate I'd really appreciate it."

"You got ammo?"

"About 8 to 10 bullets. Maybe less"

"You are getting two things from us. No fair trade here"

"You're getting all I have. Plus, I'm giving you a military rifle for a bit of water. I think is more than fair for you"

The man tilts his head a bit "Where are you headed?"

"Away from danger. We got a deal or not?"

The guy smirks "...Yeah, we got a deal, smartass"

* * *

Im lying on the bed of the truck with my dislocated arm hanging down to the street and the other one holding the rifle tightly. Another guy came down the truck and apparently he's the one who's gonna help me.

I look at his nervous look that only makes me more anxious while the other two look relaxed.

When he gets me to hold the rifle with that arm and then starts moving it towards my head the pain is almost unbearable. I close my eyes tightly and ask "are you sure you know what you're doing?"

The guy replies "My purpose is to help other scientists in need to find the cure for all thats happening right now in the country and perhaps even world wide. I had to.."

I hold my breath for a bit and say before letting it out "I thought I asked you something easy"

"Yes, I indeed know what I'm doing"

And POP!

I roll towards the truck hissing in pain as soon as he put the bone back in its place and say in between my teeth while holding my shoulder with my other arm "Mother fucker!"

I tighten my jaw for a moment and can't avoid making annoyed and pained grunts until the stinging pain starts to fade and I look back again

"You wanna stop whining like a baby?" I hear the redhead say and try to seem tougher

"Your arm is ok now" the 'scientist' tells me

"Your method hurts like shit" I sit slowly. I look at them again checking I can move my arm properly "thank you"

The scientist nods "It was no problem at all, miss"

"Now the weapon" The redhead says getting closer, but I stop him

"Hold it," I say pulling the rifle closer to me. He reminds me of a guy I saw in a video game once. What was his name? Nuke something? "Wheres the water?"

He rolls his eyes while handing me a big bottle of water. Not full like I said but seems to have enough water for me to get somewhere and find more

I take it and then hand the rifle after jumping down the bed "thank you"

"Take care" the scientist says awkwardly and walks back to the truck like the other two

The engine revs and they drive away leaving me all by myself one more time in the middle of the road.

I look down to my hand to see the bullets I stole from them for my beretta. I wasn't just crying like a baby on the truck

I put them on my back pocket.

* * *

I see a sign on the road telling me I'm almost in Macon. I just need to find where to rest and then look for supplies.

I still have enough water for the day and all bullets I stole from them people back on the road.

Im surprised there are almost no walkers around here. All of them must have followed the noise at the prison or the others walking that way.

I'm still 25 miles away from Macon

I pass several stores but nothing convinces me enough to search them. They have all been burned down to almost nothing or seem to be completely empty

By the time I find one convincing enough rain has come to fall in the form of thick and heavy drops that are almost cold enough to freeze

I could take this as a bad thing, but to be honest this helps me. I put the water bottle next to the entrance so hopefully rain fills it and search the store for more containers and a way of carrying them.

In the end I have three bottles, a can of green beans and a plastic bag that is big enough to carry everything

The rain slowly turns into a bad storm that's only going to make my condition worse if I get wet. I haven't coughed in a while, but I still gotta keep going...

Unfortunately there is nothing to start a fire here; I take off the poncho, put it inside the plastic bag and keep moving to find better shelter and my people

I take a deep breath and step out of the place. The water soon wets my hair and clothes completely as I walk in the dark heading for the closest neighborhood

I take down a walker wandering lonely and keep looking for a place to stay. Once done I hit the wall loud enough to call any walker that may be nearby but not even the undead come close to me

I'm alone

I step into the house and search it.

I search the kitchen, the bathrooms, the living room, and after that I walk upstairs. The rooms are empty as well.

I feel depressed and cold. I move to the smallest room that is painted blue and has some toys in it

I sit on the old, dirty bed and look around breathing heavily.

What if no one else made it? What if the governor got them all?

Maybe I should've asked the redhead if I could go with him... What if he sees someone else?

I get up. I take my wet shirt off and throw it to the corner of the room feeling frustrated only leaving my sports bra on

"D..do.. Don't move" I hear a soft and shaky voice behind me. Is that.. A kid?

I lift my arms slightly. I'm not afraid of a kid, but reality is I don't know if he has a gun or what he's capable of.

Carl is capable of a shit ton of things, so even if Carl is older I don't know what kids are up to these days.

I'll play along to see what he wants or what he needs even if I don't have anything right now "alright. Easy."

"T..turn around slowly" the little voice says. I imagine this boy can't be more than 11 or 12

"Kid, I'm practically naked." I say without moving

The boy stays quiet for a moment "you're not naked"

"Not completely. Do you still want me to turn around?"

"Yes, please"

Please...? This kid is not gonna hurt me

I let my arms fall by my sides and turn slowly to look at the boy.

He's almost as tall as Carl was when all this started, skinny, messy blondish hair almost down to his shoulders, eyes as blue as Daryl's. I feel I'm facing a younger version of my brother trying to seem tough by holding a beretta like mine up with both shaky hands, except this one is not suppressed. Mine is.

He seems scared, but still looks at me with a cautious death glare.

I swear this is how Daryl looked like when he was 12... But Daryl has a mole close to his mouth, this kid's skin seems super delicate even as dirty as it is and has no marks on it.

"Why are you here?" He asks me

"I'm looking for a place to rest until it stops raining" I say. I wish the prison was still intact so I could take him there. So he could be safe. "I'm looking for my brother and my friends. Have you seen more people around?"

He shakes his head "Check under the beds next time"

"Oh" I nod "right. Thanks for telling me"

He nods as a 'you're welcome' sign

"Where's your people?" I ask

He stays quiet for a moment. Then he mumbles "they're all gone"

I frown slightly and start walking towards him. Alright, we'll see if he's lying

"Stop" he warns me. I ignore him and get close enough for him to put the gun right in the middle of my chest. I can almost see my heart pushing it back slightly with each beat

We stare at each other, only he seems scared, I'm not. His gun has the safety on and he hasn't even noticed

He pulls the trigger to make my heart explode and kill me, but the gun wont shoot. He blinks startled by the slight sound the gun made while I put one of my hands on his.

He looks at me and tries to pull away.

"Its ok" I whisper pushing the gun down, letting him pull his hands away from me after that. "I'm not going to hurt you."

He keeps his eyes on me while I examine the weapon

His gun is broken, Its missing a part. Its never gonna shoot like this.

Its got only one bullet.

I hand him his beretta and then pull mine out. He seems surprised with wide scared eyes.

I think the size scares him since it looks bigger thanks to the suppressor.

I show him the beretta quietly.

I check for bullets in the magazine by putting it out and then putting it back in. I take the safety off slowly showing him how to do it, and then I put a bullet in the chamber.

"This is how you want your gun" I explain handing him my beretta "It's loaded. You can shoot me now" I say waiting for him to take the weapon or at least look at it.

After examining my gun for a few seconds he shakes his head looking down

I lower my beretta and put the safety back on. Then it is back inside my holster, which I take off to put in the bag next to the other things i got today, walking back to it, pulling the poncho and putting it on to cover my torso. The kid looks uncomfortable

This boy is alone. He hasn't been alone for a long time, but he's alone. Otherwise someone would've tried to kill me or he would've left by now.

I see through the corner of my eyes how he walks away from the window and sits on the floor taking a deep breath.

I wonder why he's not running away...

* * *

It is still raining and the streets are really dark, but I can see if someone or something comes into the house. I'm watching outside for danger.

I'm still thinking about that boy. I wonder when he ended up alone and how exactly, but I cant just ask him.

He actually fell asleep right where he sat. I don't know why he decided to stay.

I don't know when was the last time he ate or drank something... Poor kid

Reminds me of Sophia alone in the woods

If it was someone else maybe he'd be dead. If I was someone else maybe he'd be worse than dead

I look behind me from the window to see him on the floor curled up looking like he's cold. I wish I had something other than the poncho to give him, but I just cant take it off unless I wanna freeze myself since he's got more clothing than me at the moment...

I walk deeper into the room and kneel next to where he is to search his backpack

Seeing how he breathes calmly for a minute I end up thinking of my brother

I feel so sad by just thinking of him. I just hope that he's alive.. I hope that he's fine

I already lost a brother. I cant lose the other one.

I need to find them

I tighten my jaw and look back to the backpack feeling I failed him. I should've stayed with him instead of running away. I was so stupid...

I take out a flashlight from his bag to examine it. It's got new batteries.

New is never good

I pull out one bullet. He's out of ammo

He's got no food, or water. No ammo. He's pretty much like me... He either is really the last one from that group or they sent him out to die

I put everything back in, get up and go to lie down on the opposite side of the room

This kid... He really reminds me of him..

I'll Do my best to keep him safe. I promise

* * *

 **Happy holidays, merry belated xmas or whichever one you celebrated.**

 **She should've gone with Abe and Rosita...**


	7. Teamwork

I open my eyes to the sound of my trash bag moving around and see the kid practically inside it.

I frown and stand up quietly. I walk behind him and after a few seconds I ask "what are you doing?"

The boy jumps startled taking a minute to let go of the bag and back away from me as fast as he can. I take my bag

"I'm sorry!" He says "I was just..."

I look inside my bag. Everything is there, including the bullets, but one of the bottles has less water than before. I take it and raise an eyebrow letting him know I noticed he ever put the cap on as quickly as possible when I spoke

"I'm sorry!" He repeats while I let go of the bag and approach him with the bottle in my hand

When I'm close enough to him I hand him the bottle causing a confused face coming from him "If you keep being polite about everything you'll die" I say and put the bottle closer "You steal from someone, you don't say sorry afterwards."

The boy is about to take the bottle carefully seeing if I'm not going to hurt him "than..."

I pull the bottle away from him for a second "Don't thank, Just take it."

Then I hand him the bottle one more time. He nods and takes it

He drinks desperately

I go get the canned food in my bag before sitting next to him and getting my knife out to open it. He looks at me while I do so.

"Can I.. Have some?" He asks me when I open the can and look at him

"Are you seriously alone?" I ask him

He nods sadly "It was just me and my mom, but... There were a lot of them..."

"Of who?"

"The dead... Its just me now..."

"When?"

"Few days ago..."

I think for a moment and hand him my can of food. I tell him he can eat half of it and he does the same he did with the water

After watching him devour almost half of my green beans I ask "Whats your name?"

He notices he's acting like an animal and stops eating. He gives me the can back slowly. "Jared" he replies mumbling with some food still in his mouth and cleaning his himself with the back of his hand

I use my finger to get food out of the can and put it in my mouth before thinking for a moment

Yeah... I think he can come with me. If I find Rick I don't think he'd argue about it.

Its a good idea

"How many walkers have you killed?"

He looks confused "walkers? you mean the dead?"

I nod

"Why?"

"Just answer the question" I say

He hesitates "some... Never counted, but my mom helped me"

"How many people have you killed?"

"Killed or tried to kill?"

Wow... "Both"

"Just you"

I raise an eyebrow "why?"

he shrugs and mumbles "Because I thought you wanted to hurt me"

"Do you want to come with me?"

Jared frowns "with you? Where?"

"To look for my brother. I lost him the other day and I need to find him. I thought I told you that last night" I explain patiently

"Yeah but you mean.. You Lost him? Or you just lost him?"

I think for a moment emptying whats left in the can "I just lost him. And I need to find my way back to my group. There's other kids and adults that can protect you better than me. You'll be safe."

Jared thinks for a moment and says shyly "I don't need protection... Or learning how to shoot. I need a new gun"

"You just need to take the safety off"

"I can't, its broken" I noticed that before. He does need a new one

I nod "Then we'll find you one or fix yours"

He bites his lower lip. Damn, Mini Daryl

He says "Ok...but you're putting your shirt back on, right?"

I chuckle "yes. Don't worry about that"

* * *

"Where are we headed?" Jared asks walking by my side with his beretta on his hand.

"Macon" I reply with his backpack on since he let me put all my stuff in it.

"But my gun..."

"The less people the more supplies there are. I think we can find you a new one" I say and stop, holding my weight by putting my hands on my knees for a minute to catch my breath "hold on a second"

Jared stops walking. He throws his gun to the woods and stares with confused eyes "are you ok?"

"Yeah" I cough slightly trying to think of why he just threw his gun like that "why did you do that?"

He shrugs "Are you sick?"

I hesitate and think of what to tell him. I nod "A little"

"Bad?" He asks moving closer and changing his expression to concern and somehow fear

I nod once more "It was pretty bad a few days ago"

"Are we gonna die?"

I only look at him

What...?

"We?" I frown

"If you're sick then I can get sick too. My dad died when he got sick. Are we gonna die?"

"No" I tell him

We are quiet for a moment.

I keep staring at him with a weirded out expression. I stand straight and put down the backpack on my shoulders

I'm not that kind of sick... Well, we all are, but I'm not turning. Is that what he calls sick?

He's been in the darkness for the past two years apparently. He knows nothing

I open the bag and take a bottle of water. While opening it I ask "what do you know about the dead?"

I drink water before he talks and I put the plastic object back in the bag. Gotta make it last...

Jared shrugs "You gotta shoot them in the head or run. More than 5 is a threat worth avoiding if you're alone. If you're sick you're gonna die, and then you'll turn."

"Are you sick?"

"No"

"And who is sick then?" I put the bag back up on my shoulders and tilt my head slightly

"Whoever is bitten. You are, and if you turn I'll have to shoot you too."

Those words confuse me. 'Shoot you too'

Apparently he killed someone else before... Or something other than the walkers? He lied to me

I keep staring at him but keep quiet.

About the infection, what should I tell him?

How do I explain to him... Were all infected. It is not the bite that made me sick because it wasn't a walker, but still. However you die, you turn...

How can I tell him that?

"But I'm not afraid of you." I hear his brave boy voice saying "I know you're fighting it. Maybe you can beat it. Maybe you're different"

I look down for a second feeling bad about him and bend once more. I pull my knife out and hand it to him since he has no weapon right now

Jared thinks for a second and takes the knife carefully. I put my arm around his shoulder.

"Come on," I say softly before I start walking. "We gotta get there before its dark"

Jared nods

* * *

We've been walking since... I don't know.. Noon maybe

Poor Jared looks really tired. I am tired too and we're now in Macon, we just need to find somewhere to stop.

He's got the flashlight on to see where we're going in one hand and my bloody knife in the other. We encountered a car wreck and had to deal with some walkers.

At least we got food. Could say we hit the jackpot

Hours have passed since we found it and it's almost completely dark. The sun can't be seen anymore but the sky still give us some light covered by the thick cloud

Its gonna be a rainy year... Lucky for us it is not raining yet

On our way here we've passed more stores but all of them have been looted. We only found ammo in one of them

Not long after that we stop in front of a big two story house surrounded by tall grass and old cars just like the ones by its sides except the others are smaller.

Second floors mean better view around it specially being the only house like that in the neighborhood. It has more rooms to clear, but it also has more places to hide if we find we're not alone here.

With the bag on my back I make sure none of the walkers roaming lazily in nearby areas can see us. I can see one down the street so others could be close as well.

I walk inside the house first with Jared following me close behind. The door broken on the floor as if someone forced an entry here.

I don't think it has a meaning. Anyone could've done it while looking for supplies.

"Give me the light." I whisper to the kid since I'm in front of him and need to see where Im going. He quickly does as he's told and asks if I see something

"Not yet. Stay close"

We walk into the living room carefully only to find it empty. No furniture, no supplies, only a broken TV on the floor. Looks expensive... Was expensive...

The fire place is still intact. Maybe we can find something to burn and stay warm tonight.

Grabbing up the fire poker I give Jared an evil smirk jokingly. He laughs triumphantly

This might come in handy

We move to the next room.

* * *

We move upstairs. The coat closet was clear, there is no basement and the other rooms are clear too. So is the kitchen. Not a single cookie was left in it.

Jared makes sure to look under the beds. I smirk when I see him do that.

He was serious when he told me to do it yesterday

I do my best to cough silently when I cant keep my itching throat from doing it, but I know It's just the remaining of the illness and it'll go away soon.

We check a bathroom and it is as well empty.

At the end there is only the master bedroom left unchecked so we walk in and the first thing I see is Jared's hair and shirt being grabbed by a walker and the kid pulled inside the room

I widen my eyes and rush to help him

Despite everything happening only within a matter of seconds, only once he hits the wall as he fights the walker with a tight jaw before I use the strong iron weapon I got downstairs to stab the walker's head in no time and checking on the kid feeling a little worried

"Fuck" I say kneeling in next of him, who is sitting on the floor with a blank expression on the face "are you okay?" I ask trying to check on him "Are you alright?"

He keeps staring at the wall in front of him as If I wasn't there

"Jared!" I call him once more

"I..I dunno" he blinks a few times finally focusing on me and says with a shaky voice "I think so."

Using the light I check him as fast as I can just to make sure

Nothing. No blood, no scratches, no bites. The only thing out of the ordinary seems to be how hard his heart pounds in his throat.

I let out a relieved sigh "you're good"

He looks down still shaken by the moment while I look around. I put my gun next to his hand trying to make him feel safer

"Room's clear now. stay here" I tell him and get up "I'll go double check the house."

Again he stays quiet until I speak louder

"Seriously, stay here"

Jared stays there without moving other than his head to nod as I walk out of the room. Not even the slightest sound comes from him.

I'll let him calm down and clear his mind for a moment.

* * *

Kiddo is still on the same place when I walk back inside the room. I close the door slightly putting the poker next to it just so it makes noise to alert me if someone or something comes in.

I sit on the side of the bed watching how he just observes my beretta carefully still seeming to be in shock.

I take my boots off and step down kneeling to check under the bed as a way of saying 'hey, look! Here, I listen to you. Everything is fine.'

He notices what I'm doing. I feel his eyes on me and finally get back up to get close to him

I sit by his side and see how his breathing gets heavier and heavier until he finally lets tears running down his cheeks.

What? Why?

I stare for a second and take the gun carefully from him.

"Listen," I tell him "These things happen, you just gotta fight them. You gotta be strong..."

"I shot her," he mumbles making me stop and widen my eyes

"What?"

"I had to..."

I wonder who he's talking about

"She couldn't stay like that. Not her"

"Who?"

"You talk about your brother. About family. You know I couldn't just leave her there" He looks down and cries a little harder

I am so confused right now

"Come here" I put my arms around him feeling really bad while he continues sobbing gently "Its ok..."

He hugs me back

By the looks of it this kid has been through real bad shit lately.. Poor thing...I know what a living hell feels like

"It's okay, Jared"

* * *

 **Happy new year. Let 2017 begin**


	8. The Aftermath

Jared didn't want to move out of the room so I had to think of something to burn without killing us in a house fire. I found a kind of pot and filled it with wood and other dry plants to start a fire up here, but its still cold enough to wear something over our clothes

Jared is still wearing a jacket he had when he found me.

He didn't want to tell me who he put down. He seemed really sad about it. Maybe his mom

I decided to tell him about Merle. I told him how he died but also things from when he was alive that were good enough to make him feel better. He stopped crying that way

I told him about my bite and explained that not only I am infected, but he is too, and as long as we stay alive we wont become one of them. I assure him he'll be alright as long as we stay together

I still think its a lot for him to swallow though. Having to put down someone you love is never easy and I'm glad it wasn't me who did it.

Its still painful, though. Specially if it just happened a few days ago

When I look at him I see his hand is on his shoulder right where the walker tried to bite. He's still a bit absent but getting better

I nod to his hand to catch his attention and say "do you want me to check your shoulder again?"

I know his skin has no scratch on it, but maybe he'd feel better. I don't know the kid, I'm just trying to get him to trust me enough to tell me who he had to shoot

"No…. I'm fine." He says

I nod. "Ok... you feel like eating something?"

"Later..."

I think for a moment and walk over to sit on the bed next to him after getting a can of food anyway. I observe him for a minute before he looks up to where I am "you'll go nuts if you keep thinking about it"

He keeps quiet

"I get it, and you had a close call, but you need to snap out of it"

I move my hand with the can closer to him and stay like that to see his reaction.

Eventually he takes it. He is hungry

I smirk. He doesn't smirk back

I frown "sorry about your mom"

He nods "She tried to fight it, but she became one of them"

I sigh "That was not your mom anymore."

"It was still her body..."

True... I look down as well until he whispers "Sorry about your brother. I hope we find Rick soon"

"I hope so too" I mumble "I think he'll like you"

"What about Daryl?"

"What about him?"

"Do you miss him?"

I walk to the window to lean on it thinking of all I told him. I take a moment to reply "Both of them"

"I'm sorry..." Jared says behind me

"Why are you apologizing now?" I growl without looking at him

"Because I know you feel sad."

I try to stop talking about it so I just keep staring out and reply dryly "Why don't you close your eyes for a moment? We'll keep going tomorrow"

Jared nods

I wonder how everyone is doing...

Rick.. Where are you?...

* * *

"Mac..." I hear a slight whisper and feel something poking my arm

I open my eyes instantly taking my knife from the floor next to me an raising it to kill whatever is touching me. I stare at Jared as he tilts his head looking confused

I let out a grunt putting the knife down and blinking slowly

"Don't do that. " I say and get up trying to wake up "I almost killed you"

He laughs

I frown "Why the hell are you laughing?"

I get up slowly

* * *

"What do you think it feels like?"

Like I said last night, we have to keep moving. No one is here. No one thought of going to Macon

Just me...I found red paint in a store and wrote all over the wall the same question I drew with my finger on the bus.

'Asskicker?'

We're just searching for ammo and other supplies around Macon before we decide where else to go.

So far we've found band aids, alcohol, more water and a butterfly knife that Jared has on his belt now

He's so... Curious...

Every time he has a question he looks for an answer right away and now I'm the only source around him that is 'reliable'...ish...

"What?" I ask what he means by that

I can't complain, I am super curious too, but he is open to the people around him. I just feel awkward.

If The situation was the opposite, I'd be quiet and petrified thinking 'This fucker's gonna do something to me any moment now...' But he just seems to like me enough to trust me on all that comes through his mind

Sometimes it gets annoying. Sometimes I just give him a death glare requesting silence. Sometimes he understands. Sometimes I just stop replying until he does

This kid is fun though. He loves puns. He told me some a moment ago that made me laugh my ass off! That's the only reason why I'll listen to him right now

"To be trapped in your own body."

I look behind me with an eyebrow up "we're always trapped with ourselves"

"No no, you're not getting it" he says

"You're not explaining" I say as I keep walking closer and closer to a coffee shop. Oh, I'd die for a cup of coffee

"I meant being trapped with no control over what your body's doing"

We step in. Smells like rotten wood

Gross! So much for the coffee smell

Jared keeps explaining

"Ok, kid." I say looking around quickly and just letting the backpack fall next to me before sliding down with my back on the wall. "I need to rest. whats your point?"

The kid comes to sit next to me and says "Hypothetically…"

Ugh, that smart word! Nerdy. Smartass...

I smirk trying to pay attention to him this time

"would you rather be dead and let your body reanimate, or just driven mad by the virus or whatever it is with no control of your body, but still 100% aware of all thats happening around you?"

Woah, hold on! This just took a turn! I wasn't expecting that. I never thought of it that way

He seems to notice the change on my expression cause he turns red and looks away "well, of course you don't have to reply..."

"Umm.. No, its just..I've never seen it that way" I think for a second while opening the backpack to take two bottles of water. Once I hand one to him and take a few sips from mine I say "you meant the walkers?"

He looks at me and nods awkwardly "walkers... Yeah"

"I guess," I tell him "I like it the way it is"

"How so?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'd rather be dead and let my body around with no consequences on me than having to live through all that shit... Would you still feel pain?"

"Yeah"

"Well, fuck that. I've felt enough pain in my life. How about you?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. I've never been shot, but looks like it hurts"

"Yeah, it probably does"

"Whats the worse thats happened to you" He turns his head eyeing me with now more curious eyes than before. I smirk Sadly

"Merle. I talked about it last night"

"Oh..." He sighs and thinks "But I mean physically"

"I've lived through a lot of things"

"Like?"

I snort "You never shut up do you?"

"Not unless you tell me" he smiles and I sigh

"Ok." I say "maybe I'll tell you about all my injuries later"

My answer comes followed by the sound of my coughing, fortunately it goes away as fast as it came. Feels like I wont cough anymore in a few days.

I drink more water

"How're you feeling?"

Older... Watching him makes me remember I'm not a little girl anymore and I'm the one responsible and in charge right now. That makes me feel older

I also feel frustrated and sad because Macon is empty

I clear my throat "don't worry about me."

We can hear thunders in the distance but Jared doesn't seem to mind that. I actually like rain, I just don't want to get sick again

After a moment of silence and resting in the small stinky place I notice Jared looking around as if he just noticed something. I try not to look curious about it, but still stare at him to figure out what he's doing.

He stands up and walks closer to one of the windows to examine the street and the buildings around making me frown.

"Jared?" I call him trying to get a word of what he's saying

He's just mumbling shit. What the fuck?

What is he saying? I Ask him "Wha-" but before I can let another word out he's taking off running down the street

I widen my eyes getting up with the backpack on one hand to run after him feeling completely confused "Jared?!"

I try to put the bag on while running

"Hurry up!" He yells back

"Shit.." I whisper under my breath as I see him runing front of me.

A walker appears by my side trying to attack me but luckily I saw it coming. It is easy for me to stop it and push it away.

It wont catch me anyway.

I sprint as fast as I can behind the kid until I am able to reach his shoulder and pull him so he stops the bullshit. I turn him to face me

Why the fuck does he seem excited

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" I yell at him

"I know where we are!" He tells me

"The fuck if I care! Why the hell did you run off like that?!"

"Walker!" He says pointing behind me. I let go of him to bend quickly and take the knife out of my boot and then kill the walker

I thought it was gonna be slower...

When I turn back he's gone. He's running down the street again

I growl and start running once more.

I follow him trying to run as fast as I can but I cant sprint if I want to keep up with him. The life we had at the prison might have been alert and we had to run in some occasions, but lets face that it got a lot of us out of shape for these things.

To me what fucked it up was that I stopped worrying about my stamina so I stopped running around thinking nothing would harm us ever again.

I was wrong

I feel my heartbeat on my throat as I chase the kid to another neighborhood that seems to be less... Fancy, than the other one we stood in last night

I pant and cough as I stop next to him with the angriest eyes I've ever given to anyone in my entire life.

I would be yelling at him if I could speak right now.

I pant and pant while he acts like he just walked to the kitchen to get a cold beer

The kid looks around and starts walking in a new direction

"Wait" I breathe "where are you going?"

"Shhhh" he hisses raising his finger to his lips and then whispers "theres a lot of walkers around here. Just follow me I know where we're going"

The place has the feel of a bad horror film set . The kind of place that probably looked bad since it was built.

Pretty much like the place where I grew up. If this was Sedalia I'd call it home, but we're south, not north

Within another hour or so, I find myself regretting taking Jared with me. I mean, what are we even doing? Where are we even going?

Then he stops in front of a house. Not like the one from last night, but a small one that once more reminds me of the one I grew up in.

It looks as if it'd already been run through by survivors, the windows are boarded up and the door shut tight seeming as if someone was right behind it trying to avoid our entrance.

"What is this?" I whisper to Jared still feeling angry at all thats been going on with him

"It's my house" he says simply

"We ran all this way just so you can see what happened to a fucking house?!"

He gives me a death glare and shakes his head "no one forced you to come."

I shrug and follow his steps closer to the building

"My dad kept it like this. He had a lot of supplies inside but I didn't know how to come back to Macon"

I am about to complain when a lightning strikes making me realize how dark it is becoming and how hard the wind is blowing

"Fine" I growl after a deep and annoyed breath "lets find a way in"

* * *

The house is completely deserted. No walkers or humans can be seen or heard in here.

I don't like it. Too secure...

Theres a trail of blood from the kitchen to the hallway that leads to the bedrooms

Someone must be living here.

I kneel to touch the blood slightly with Jared behind me looking around. The blood sticks to my finger making me feel even more anxious. This isn't walker blood, and it is fresh...

"We need to get out of here" I growl looking back at the young but tall guy behind me.

"We need to look for supplies" he says "just check and then we get out of here"

If someone stays here, then their supplies must be around. He might be right, but we're risking out butts more than it is worth it.

"We check and then we're gone" I whisper "get your knife out"

I look ahead to anything the flashlight let me see in the dark house. So far there's nothing useful. Only bottles and bottles of pee and alcohol.

I cover my nose with one of my arms and keep walking with my knife in my hand, the light on the other one not covering my face

Both of us are really quiet as we make our way through the house watching our steps to not alert anyone that could be here.

We walk into the kitchen, open the cabinets and stare at the emptiness they contain. His house was raided. I knew it, but if it was me, I'd move everything closer to me so I can watch all the stuff... To the rooms...

There's a hook hanging from the center of the ceiling... I don't like it

Unlike the kitchen, the rooms are clean. There is no blood in them, except for the one at the end.

Im guessing that was where Jared's parents slept in

The hallway has bloody handprints and scratches on the walls. The entire house smells like blood

What happened here?...

I walk into the second room. The one without blood.

It's still clean and well kept but there's still no sign of whoever has been staying here.

The closer I try to examine all the items the more stressed I feel. My brain keeps telling me to get the shit out of here, but my curiosity and the looks on Jared's face tell me to keep looking.

Not gonna lie though, the hallway gave me chills...

Nothing looks missing in the room. On the contrary, the drawers still have clothes in them, and below them I hit the jackpot by grabbing arrows and bullets

If there are arrows here the bow must be somewhere

"Fuck…theres stuff all around" I whisper. Maybe not stuff we need, but must be more than 3 types of bullets hidden, the arrows, and some lubricant to maintain a compound bow in good shape for another five years.

This is a fucking arsenal

"Yeah.. But these things weren't here before" he mumbles worried

The place is warm, and judging by the nailed down hard-boards at the windows and double locks on the doors it is secure.

All but the window we broke to get in... It was not nailed

After checking the rest of the house, including closets and beds, I just want to get out of here

This place is a slaughterhouse. Small, somehow clean, but that blood in the corridor just makes me want to run away as fast as I can

The last room is purple and pink. It has a cradle and small stuffed animals that make my heart shrink down to nothing just to think of Judith

He had a baby sister? The look on his face and watery eyes confirm it.

It all makes sense now. He wasn't talking about his mom.

His baby sister turned and he had to kill her since he was the last one in the family. Thats just so sad...

I let my knife slide inside my boot once more, put a hand on his shoulder and whisper "Lets get out of here"

He nods and turns around to leave while I keep staring at the room in silence, then I turn around when I hear the boy's 'I'm-about-to-shit-my-pants' style scared little voice muttering my name

There is a man staring at us standing right in the door. He comes with a younger guy

My blood runs cold. I fucking knew it...


	9. Dead or Alive

**Good Evening to everyone out there reading. Tonight's chapter took a while to get to where it is now, and it is personally one of hardest ones to write because of the way I made it work.**

 **About that, This chapter is different. It is kind of confusing at first if you try to just read it as it is, but it's not a complicated... (Lets say) dynamic. This starts in the present. What Mac is going through right now, but when the scene changes it will not continue that idea, it'll go back to where last chapter left off, after that it comes back to the present, and so on.**

 **it goes back and forth.**

 **Anyway, it is one of my favorites. I think It is one of the best chapters in the story so far and I'm really happy with how it came out.**

 **I hope all of you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

 **"Bring your kleenex" -Norman Reedus (season 5 finale)**

* * *

"I walk these streets... A loaded six-string... on my back..." My soft voice echoes through the empty house mixed with the sound of all the walkers trying to get in hitting the windows and scratching one another. Trying to contain the pain and the sadness, sobbing while I sing along the lyrics I try hard to remember the song that coming out almost as a whisper

My hands full of blood. My clothes full of blood.

Bet I have some on my face too. Feels kind of sticky combined with the tears that roll down my cheeks

It feels as if the skin on my back had been peeled off...

On my knees and shaking I look around at all the mess in the kitchen. Broken cabinets, useless fridge, even the ceiling has some blood too. I don't want to know how it got there...

The walkers keep roaring and hitting the wood protecting the windows.

I take a deep breath to continue my song while random flashes of memories of the people at prison hit my mind

"I play for keeps... Cause I...might not make it back..."

* * *

With another firm tug at the collar of my shirt, I'm pulled to the bloody big room by the man who found us as I struggle to get way from him

He pulls the backpack off me and shoves it to the other side of the room not caring about whats in it

Another man, older, took Jared in the opposite direction towards the kitchen. I can hear him fighting

I roar angrily kicking the guy and trying to go get the kid. The man manages to grab my hair and pull me back to him as I grunt

I knew I had to cut it...

He throws me against the wall, gun pointing at me with a grin on his face

I am just angry at fucking everything!

Angry at these fuckers, angry with Jared for getting us into this, angry at myself for listening to him

I'm gonna kill these assholes. And I'm gonna get us out of this, but first I need to calm down and think if I wanna save the kid

I'm just staring at him furiously deciding on taking my knife out now or taking him by surprise. I don't know whats in his mind, though, but I don't like the way he looks at me

He starts talking without me having to do any effort to get information.

With a slight smile he asks me casually if I've ever taken the heart out of someone alive. I just tighten my jaw while he tells me it is an odd feeling when the thing is still beating in your palm

He asks me if I knew kids taste way better than adults.

Jared...

"And the adrenaline," He makes a face telling me he loves it "it adds a certain taste."

My heart skips a beat. They're trying to eat Jared.

They're going to eat us..

I keep quiet. I think he wanted me to say something because he yells at me when he sees I'm silent

Jared keeps screaming and pleading for the man to leave him alone. I hear things falling in the kitchen

I rush towards the door to help him. The man slaps me on the face making me lose my balance.

He grabs me one more time to throw me across the room.

My back hits the window. It breaks but I don't fly out of it like in the movies, instead I crash on it and then land on the floor as if I had hit a wall

A wall with big pieces of shattered glass cutting into my skin and some getting stuck inside my flesh

I am on the floor now groaning in pain. I cant move...

My anger disappears. I am scared now.

I breathe heavily looking around to find something that may kill this asshole as fast as possible until I see that with only one hand he's unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants

Oh, no...

No, no, no...

I crawl back a little and shake my head slightly

"No?" He asks "Thats the attitude, baby"

He comes closer to me. I stare in horror.

I try to run once more feeling how my skin stretches on my back and again, he catches me, pushes me down to the ground and tries to rip the clothes off my body while I struggle to get him away and try to reach down to my boot to get my knife.

I feel pieces of glass cutting in deeper as he pushes me down on my back

The man laughs and says he likes it when 'they' fight. He tries to kiss me.

"Fuck you!" I grunt but he only laughs more

"Thats the plan"

I widen my eyes. Fear and creates adrenaline inside me.

"N..no..!" I breathe crawling away from him but being pulled back in place at the same time

I feel so disgusted. I see a trail of blood next to me every time he pulls me and the pieces of glass opening my flesh

He keeps laughing. I grunt and push him away once more remembering my shoulder is weaker at the moment

I growl and try to use my feet then. He makes a hole on my shirt when I kick him away. From the neck to one side of it.

Thats not what bothers me anyway. I can feel him... Down there... I don't want to see it, I am not looking, but I know whats going on.

He keeps trying to strip me. My mind tells me to get help, but I am on my own now. I need to fight alone

I remember when Dale died and screamed for help. I remember how his voice changed from struggle to pain.

I hear that change in Jared and for a tiny second my mind makes me think of Carl, but his young voice is unmistakable

I pant with tears in my eyes trying to move away from the heavy guy on top of me while he keeps kissing and licking my neck

Jared cries once more

Fucking shit!

"Rick!" I cry desperately even though I know he's not coming. I need him.

I need him to stop this. Please...

I become more desperate and more scared with each second that passes

"No one is coming" the man laughs. "Its just you and me"

I scream as loud as I can when the man pulls me closer to him. That is when I am able to get my hand inside my boot and swing the knife towards his temple

I manage to push him to the side with my legs and get on top of him just to stab his head as soon as I'm sitting on his stomach.

And I stab thinking of what he was trying to do to me, and stab thinking of what might be happening to the kid in the kitchen, and stab as fast and hard as I possibly can thinking of Daryl and Rick, Glenn and Maggie, Carl, Michonne, Beth and Judith...

Hershel...

I stab nonstop because I feel I need to do something for them. Because it is thanks to scumbags like this one that most of my friends could be dead or already died.

I grunt and growl in the process being unable to stop. I see blood splattering everywhere before I can control myself

I keep stabbing desperately even when his face is not recognizable anymore. Then I breathe heavily and stop fighting the tears in my eyes. I crawl away from him and just sit on the floor trying to get my thoughts together

He... He tried to...

He almost...

I finally get enough strength to look down at myself as I sob. I touch my back gently before locating and pulling a piece of glass out of it.

I sob in pain once more when I look at it and my hand full of blood. I cry harder.

I look for more injuries on me

My clothes are still on me... At least thats good..

I breathe in deeply hearing Jared screaming and crying again so I get up to walk to get my gun.

I need to be strong for him. I need my gun to save him

I am shaky as hell

Oh my god...

* * *

"I been everywhere, s..still, I'm standing tall" I sing running my fingers through Jared's hair and take a deep breath as he only looks at me with pain still on his face but slowly being replaced by peace.

I sniffle and see him showing me a soft and weak smirk. His small and shaky hand holding mine.

His rattling breathing struggling to keep going. His belly has a really deep hole that if I stretch the skin a bit I'm sure I'd be able to see some of his insides cut open by the same knife the man had in his hand

He's bleeding out quickly. I can't do anything about it, sadly.

A tear runs down to the side of his temple while he seems enjoy listening to me singing to him.

I take a deep breath to get enough strength to keep singing and with the same soft voice the song comes out of my mouth "I've seen a million faces... And I've rocked them all..."

* * *

"Drop the knife" I say trying to seem tougher than I really feel

What I'm seeing... How could anyone do that to a kid?

I think he was about to gut my kid... Alive...

I tighten my jaw

I'm pointing my beretta to the old man that seems to be in his late 60's or maybe early 70's. Tears still running down my cheeks

Jared's wrists are tied to the hook hanging from the ceiling. He has tears running down his face as well. His shirt gone. His chest has some deep cuts, but the one that catches my attention is the one that starts just above his belly button and stops about an inch below it

He breathes down my name looking really scared and in pain. I cant really see how deep his injuries are because of the darkness in the room, but I can see him bleeding more than I wish he was

He whimpers while the man puts the knife down to the side keeping an eye on me and raises his hands carefully

"Nice bruise you got there" he points at me. I look down quickly noticing the form of a big hand on my arm "had fun with Joey back there?"

"What is wrong with you people?" I mutter with a frown breathing unevenly

The man shrugs tilting his head and smiles trying to walk closer to me "A man's gotta eat"

"Stop" I warn him. He stops

"Its ok."

"Is it?" I ask with shaky voice "Wanna ask your buddy back there? "

"Yeah... He was an asshole. Listen." He says giving another step closer to me "Whatever Joey did, none of my business. I don't care. But here, Princess, you and I know you're not gonna pull the t..."

I pull the trigger over and over until my gun clicks about three or four times after letting me know I'm out of bullets.

There was only one man who could call me princess. The one who taught me to be strong in order to do the right thing.

Merle is dead now.

I ain't nobody's princess

* * *

Jared could still talk when I got him down from the hook. Now he just looks around almost absently and blinks slowly

His eyes look less focused than they were before. He's still breathing.

Barely.

"I'm a cowboy," I keep singing like he told me to do when he still could whisper. I keep running my fingers through his hair being careful to not disturb him "on a steel horse I ride."

He said his mom used to sing for him and his sister. He asked if I could sing for him before he just became absent of everything but me

He knew he wasn't gonna make it before he went into this calm mode that tells me it wont be any longer before I'll have to... Yeah...

I've never been asked to sing something. I don't think I've ever sung something other than mumbling

I don't have Beth's voice. I can't sing as good as she does, but I still try for him.

Its sad that now the only song I could think of was this one... Totally not for him right now..

"I'm wanted, dead or alive..."

I see Jared taking a deep, deep breath

"Dead or alive..."

He lets it out and his eyes come out of focus completely. His body relaxes entirely. His pupils dilate. He doesn't take another breath after that.

"Dead or alive..."

I use my hand to close his eyes carefully and try to pull him up to lay him somewhere else before I stop him from turning, but I'm weaker than I should.

Even worse with the fight I just had in the room.

With tears running down my face I set him slowly on the floor and move getting my knife from the floor to prevent him from turning. I crawl feeling every single movement from my skin

I lift his head, move it just a little and sing one last time as I push the knife feeling how his skull breaks

"I'm sorry" I whisper

I kiss his forehead softly.


	10. The road

**Hello gals and lads. I know I've been more absent than usual. I'm sorry, my life is a mess right now, but I managed to bring this with me today!**

 **I might not be as active as I used to to bring a chapter almost every week, but I wont give up on this, so please dont give up on it either! I'll eventually upload like I used to.**

 **That said,** **Enjoy the new chapter. Kind of short by the way, but I'll bring the next one as soon as possible. I promise it'll be long enough**

* * *

I am on the rooftop of the house now. I managed to make my way up here by stabbing as many walkers as I could before climbing on the AC and jumping from there to the roof.

I almost got killed a couple times...

They started eating the bodies, so that also gave me some time and space to get up here

I don't know what else to do...

I looted the house quickly, but the only thing I got was the missing compound bow and a few arrows inside the drawer in Jared's room, but I've never used one...

I cant go down in the dark, and I think I'm in some sort of shock.

I haven't moved since I got here. I haven't made a sound. I just sit here stare at the shadows

I cant stop crying

Its cold. Im surprised it didn't rain. The walkers are loud. The pain on my back is so bad...

I need to be even more careful with the walkers. I don't want to know what happens if one of them touches one of the cuts, and I don't want them following me

They're still eating them?

I feel extremely confused

Were they really trying to eat us?

Could I have done something to help Jared?

He was just a kid.. He didn't deserve that

I see something lighting a part of the woods in the distance but for a moment I simply don't recognize it as something important. Just as if it wasn't there

I feel so... Dirty... In all senses of the word

What would've happened if I wouldn't have been able to get my knife? How would I have ended up?

As food? As entertainment?

What if Daryl was here when it happened? What if it was Rick?

Then something snaps inside my head that makes me realize something is on fire in the woods. Something big.

I frown slightly leaning forward for a second trying to get a better view of it. It is definitely some kind of super campfire

What the hell?

I stare at it for a couple seconds watching how it slowly grows and grows. Must be a house or something.

Could it be? someone from the group?

I look down to check if I can climb down now.

I move closer and closer to the edge of the house being as carefully to not fall as possible.

The walkers are staggering there. One or two even notice me and come closer

No way I can make it past them. They'll rip me apart as soon as I set a foot down. Maybe even before.

I look around frustrated watching the fire. I move away from the edge and lie down now on my stomach feeling tired

All I can think of right now is what would Rick do now, or what would Daryl do?

I'm scared, and I feel like I'm lost without them. Everything I've done since I left the prison has been the wrong call

Jared was the worst one. I shouldn't have brought him with me...

I feel so guilty...

* * *

I jump down to the AC again after staring at the last can of food in the bag and deciding I'm not hungry. I run to hide in the plants nearby

I stay down to wait and see if any walker heard me.

It is morning now, and most of the walkers are gone. I did not sleep last night.

Apparently I'm good. Theres a walker inside the house, and another one standing on the other side of the yard facing the fence as if it was the love of it's life

I could go inside to raid what the guys had left in their pockets, but I wont do it. I simply wont.

I cant.

I try not to think about it. I pretend I just got out of the prison and none of that ever happened... As if it was gonna work

There are walkers on the street as well, enough to kill me if they want to. I have to be careful to get through them.

I feel so curious to see what that fire was. If I'm lucky it was someone from the group and left footprints or something I can track

I move carefully towards a car

I look around me. I see a walker nearby but still not a threat.

I keep moving as quietly as I can watching for the undead at least until I get out of the neighborhood

I observe the walkers. I need new clothes. I feel disgusting wearing these ones, but I wont wear anything that comes from the walkers.

I would maybe try if I didn't have open wounds on my body, but I ain't risking myself.

I sneak out behind the cars until I get to the woods. Then I start running towards the direction of the fire I saw

* * *

It was a cabin. I spent all the morning walking. It burned down to nothing

Smells like burning wood and corpses

I can see money on the floor, 5, 20 and 100 dollar bills, some in pieces, some intact, some almost ashes. There are bottles that smell like alcohol too and a lot of footprints like back at the prison.

The walkers were here

At least half of the prints head to the road. They either went for Atlanta, or back to Macon

There is nothing interesting here...

I keep looking around the cabin, or whats left of it, and stop when I finally see something that might be important

There's a burned corpse on a damaged tree near the cabin. An arrow is holding it in place

I try to pull it out.

I give up when I notice its damaged because of the fire and will break if I do so

I take my bag off and open it searching for the ones I got last night, then pull one out and put it next to the one on the walker's chest.

My arrow is apparently longer, and thiner. This ain't no arrow. It it a bolt

Crossbow bolt

"Daryl..." I whisper looking back to all the footprints heading to the road.

Atlanta

I walk towards it, stand in between two of the yellow lines on it and only look wondering long it goes from here, to there.

I look behind me then, seeing a walker coming out of the woods and noticing me. It walks in my direction slowly

I sigh and start walking ignoring the walker completely just because I don't feel like killing it.

* * *

I walk watching the sun move slowly from one side of the road to the other with each hour that passes. I walk until my feet hurt and seems to be almost sunset.

I walk back in between the trees by the side of the concrete thinking the weather is nice so I wont need a fire tonight, but I still need light

Using a stick and one of my shoelaces I make a trap just big enough to catch a bunny or a squirrel and hope to get something by morning.

When I decide I'm deep enough to be safe, I let the backpack fall behind me and then turn around to kneel and search it.

I move the poncho to the side trying to use whats left of sunlight to get something to eat and drink. I take a label-less can that looks weird and my water bottle on the side of the bag noticing it's half empty

Lucky for me I have another one that's still full.

I sigh and let my butt finally land on the ground; My legs relax. I take my knife out of my boot and examine the blood that is still on it. Maybe walker blood, maybe Joey's, if that was his real name.

I stare at the object feeling sad and lonely for a minute before I put my knife down next to me and lower the can of food as well.

I suddenly realize I'm not so hungry...

I wish I had the flashlight Jared was carrying back in Macon, but still, I wont make a fire and risk myself when I have nothing to defend myself with but a hunting knife

I wish I had Jared with me... I wish I had someone with me...

I drink some water and decide to take my boots off to let my feet rest for at least five minutes. I pull the dirty and sweaty socks off as well to rub my toes a little feeling good while doing so.

I look around once more making sure nothing threatens me before noticing a small blister between my pinkie toe and the one next to it. I better leave it alone so it can heal.

I put my socks back on now knowing why walking was a little painful on my right foot, but its still nothing I can't deal with.

With my now almost naked feet, I stand up slowly to collect as many leafs and sticks as possible to make a huge circle about three feet around me to know if something comes close when I'm resting

Then I move the backpack right to the center along with my boots and knife, and lie on the dirt with my head on the bag to sleep for a couple hours before I keep walking to see if I can catch up to my brother


	11. No trust

I open my eyes to the singing of the birds around me. Nothing came close to me last night...

Wait.. Its morning already?!

I need to be able to protect myself before I continue looking for Daryl

My feet are still burning. The little blister I had grew to the size of a grape. Its gonna be hard to walk like that.

I see a small bundle where I put my shoelace and the sticks and approach it

It is a squirrel. Sadly, the thing is around it's neck meaning it choked to death, but I got something to eat after the last can of food in my bag.

I check around me as I put my boots back on. I'll be lucky if I still have feet when I find my brother

I look at the can I didn't open last night and think of opening it. The last one.

Yeah, I'll find more food later. I still have the squirrel

I take it, shove my knife on the top and start opening it like I've been doing with the others, but stop when I see something moving inside.

What the fuck?

I pull my knife out feeling confused and then yelp throwing the can away and letting go of my knife in disgust when I see hundreds and hundreds of tiny white worms inside it and coming out of the can as if nothing happened

What the hell?! How?! It's a damn can! They're supposed to be sealed!

I get up as fast as possible to get the ones on my clothes off me and shiver grossed out. I kick the can further away from me and shake my knife until no more little worms are on it.

I sigh. I'm still hungry...

I frown frustrated and think of what I'm gonna do next. I could hunt more...

Right, no ammo... Just useless arrows since I don't know how to use the bow

I guess I'll have to keep going and save the squirrel for later. I need to set another trap tonight.

* * *

Back in the road I see a car with the trunk open. I move closer to it feeling curious of what might be inside it.

I chuckle when I get there. Its a rope and a map

Just that... Who would just leave a map out here? It even has some blood on it

I could use the rope to get on trees or somewhere else if I get in trouble, and maps are always useful when you don't know shit about your surroundings.

I take both things, putting the rope in my bag and unfolding the map to get a better view at it. I do my best to read it properly

According to this, Atlanta is about 60 miles from here. If I wanna get there in about 3 days I need to move faster to the point I walk almost 20 miles daily.

I'd have to walk 6 hours a day, and that is if I stay in the road, which means no food or water unless an abandoned car has some.

Well, shit. I'm already starving

At least I'd have shelter in the cars and I'd be able to sleep without walkers noticing me

Cant say the same about people, though.

Closest town ahead is Forsyth. I think it is totally worth it. If I'm lucky I'll find someone before getting to the city

I fold the map then. I keep walking after that

* * *

Its past noon and I'm really starving! I need to eat now. I sit next to a truck to rest.

I am about to untie the animal's tail from my bag when I hear the engine of a car approaching. I get all my stuff together and move quickly under the truck to avoid people.

The black vehicle passes so fast I almost couldn't see it. I just know it is black and it is on its way south. Did it come from Atlanta?

I crawl out rubbing my back against the truck accidentally and growling out of pain. I hear a walker growling in the distance and then another one and suddenly a lot of walkers making me get on the bed of the truck to get a better look at them. A pretty fucking big herd is heading my way.

Am I ever gonna get a damn chance to eat?!

I look to the other side, where the car went. More walkers.

Of course it attracted them all!

If I run I'll catch up with those ahead, if I don't they'll catch up to me.

I think of what to do quickly.

I knew I'd have to climb another tree soon, so I kind of thought of how to use the rope in this.

Uuuugggghhh... No, like I said cars can protect me from herds if the walkers don't see me.

I check if the truck is open and close the door when I'm inside. I lie in the floor in front of the backseat, soon hearing some walkers crashing with the vehicle

My stomach growls softly

I sigh and look at my bag. I really need to eat

* * *

Ah, shit...Just another day in my life...

Damn it my back hurts.

At least I can stretch my legs..

Being in here all day made my whole body hurt and made me waste a lot of time.

I cant stay here tonight. I need somewhere else to rest

I get out of the car carefully and walk out of the highway, then through the woods feeling stressed

I look around since I need to find somewhere else. I see a sign and move to read it.

'Forsyth' it reads with an arrow pointing north west '2 miles'

Forsyth, I think, according to my map, is a small town which I think is close enough for me to get there. I imagine if it didn't have much people before, it won't have anyone now.

Worth a try

* * *

Forsyth seems creepier than Macon. Smaller place, maybe 3 or 4 blocks maximum, and most of it burnt.

I wont find food here today. I'll have to wait for tomorrow since the traps wont work here, but luckily I still have a little more than half a bottle of water the Redhead guy gave me

I stop walking deciding which place to stay in standing in the middle of the town where the railroad divides it right in half. I could go anywhere, really, the thing is the fire deteriorated most of them and I don't want them falling on my ass.

I look behind me still trying to decide.

Why cant I just be lucky for one day and come across Michonne, or Maggie, Glenn would be nice too. It would be easier to find the others

I think I've been alone for almost a week. I mean, without them. I wish Jared was still here...

POW! I hear a gunshot that lucky for me passes right next to me without hitting me at all.

What the fuck! Not more people...

I look behind me and see two people running in my direction. I widen my eyes and rush to the closest establishment, burnt or not, I hide behind the counter while looking around for something to defend myself

I hear the people panting really close to me and a young woman say "did you hit it?"

"No" another one tells her "since when are they so fast?"

"Must be around here somewhere. Keep looking" I hear

My compound bow...I need it

I open my bag quickly to get the arrow I got in Macon.

I kneel peeking from over the now useless register and use it to stabilize my bow. I'm surprised they haven't seen me, but I still shoot and fail completely getting one of the ladies on the leg.

I was trying to kill her...

I hide once more hearing how she screams and the other one replies with "An arrow?"

"Someone must be here! Get it out!"

"I cant!" The youngest one says "I don't know how to do it!"

I try again, but this time I feel the string vibrate weirdly. I let go of it before its even ready to shoot and see how it bounces and hits the floor making a sound I've only heard once in Daryl's crossbow.

I remember it well, and I'm glad it didn't hit me. The string ripped and broke making almost the same thing Daryl's crossbow made when he got the owl and the thing hit him in the face

He had a small cut and a bruise close to his eye.

I curse under my breath

"It hurts!" I hear the woman saying.

"Shh! You heard that?"

Shit.

I walk out with the broken weapon faking to be ready to shoot another arrow and get close enough for them to see me aiming at them. I wont miss this time... Maybe...if the bow was ok...

The one with the arrow on her leg looks Asian, the other one looks just like a pretty casual brunette. Both super skinny

"Drop it" I tell the brunette when she takes what seems to be their only weapon

"Wait!" The Asian one says "you shot me?!"

"I could ask you the same thing."

Both widen their eyes "No, you don't get it. We thought you were a rotter"

"A rotter?" I ask

"Well," the Asian continues our conversation "we saw you just standing there..."

"Yeah, and after that you kept looking because you were curious of the walker that runs" I say sarcastically

"You call them that?"

"Who gives a shit" I growl still waiting for the brunette to lower the weapon and give her a death glare "I swear to god if you don't put that gun down..."

She's about to put it on the back of her jeans but I shake my head. I hold my bow and arrow with one hand now and stretch the other one "give it here"

"But it's the only thing we have left!" She argues "you can't take it from us!"

"You can lose a shit ton of things that are way more important than just a gun." I say "hand it over or I take it from you anyway and fix my mistake here with your friend. I wasn't aiming at her leg"

"You're outnumbered here" she threatens

"Am I?" I ask looking around causing them to do the same "wouldn't be so sure."

I actually am outnumbered and have no weapons,other than my knife, but they don't know that.

They share unsure looks and then the Asian nods. The brunette puts the gun in my hand.

"So," I start checking the type of bullets. 9mm. Hell yeah "where were you headed?"

"Terminus" The Asian replies holding her leg with the arrow still through it and breathes in pain

I take the bullets from them and hand them their weapon back, Then move to her leg.

I need my arrow back.

"Terminus?" I ask

"You don't know about it?" Brunette notices how I kneel next to her friend's leg "the sanctuary. Those who arrive survive? Ring a bell?"

"No." I shake my head and then look at the asian woman before pulling my arrow out of her leg as hard as I can "this'll hurt."

She screams in pain even after I get it out and start cleaning it on my jeans. I rip a piece off my already ripped shirt before wrapping the cloth around the woman's leg.

Not like it's useful to me anymore, really.

"Get your friend up and keep moving" I tell the brunette while I stand up

"But you took our bullets, how are going to protect ourselves?"

"I gave you your gun back, and I bandaged her leg as well. Like I said, I could've taken more; water, whatever food you have, your friend's head. I suggest you get her up and moving before I change my mind"

"Come with us" The Asian woman grunts in pain while her friend seems to dislike the idea, does like I said and helps her up "You and your people. We could all go together to Terminus"

I think about it.

A community... More people... What if my people fell for it and went there?...

What if they're lying? What if there is no community at all? What if there is, but its all bullshit?

Rick could be there... what about Atlanta?

Atlanta is further, and full of walkers... A community sounds more like a chance

Change of plans then, but I ain't going with them. They're not stupid, they want protection.

I cant give them that.

I shake my head "No. We don't trust people anymore. Not communities, Not loners on the road."

"I understand" she says nodding to my squirrel "got some food to spare?we only got a little."

I chuckle. I shake my head once more "just get the hell out of here"

"I get it..." She mumbles "If you change your mind follow the signs in the railway. They'll take you there"

You don't want me to change my mind.

I nod anyway. And so they turn around to keep moving.

I take a deep breath thanking my imaginary group for helping me here before heading back in the empty store to eat my squirrel after waiting all day.

They only had two bullets...

* * *

 **Hi!**

 **I still have the damn block on my brain, I'm updating slowly, but I'm sure it'll pass.**

 **BTW, sneak peek for the next one (lol as if this was a movie!):**

 **Mac is losing hope. She doubts she'll find the group, she's hurt, depressed, she wont trust anybody, but there is still someone out there who can help her find Rick and the others.**

 **Enjoy!**


	12. Stranger

Its been two days since I left Forsyth. Barely have water. Im going die if I keep going like this...

I've seen some walkers here and there, but none of them were carrying anything useful.

I barely sleep at night, but that is not the worse part.

I feel grosser than ever. I haven't found any good clothes or water source since I left the prison and I'm still covered in blood.

I'm not gonna lie. I stink.

Maybe not as much as the walkers, but I do.

I'm suspecting I've also been bleeding every now and then since my back feels wet and sticky from time to time and the pain comes and goes. My bag makes it worse.

I'd hate it if the wounds got infected; in this conditions it is more than likely to happen.

I located a lake on my map and honestly, thats my number one priority right now; Find somewhere to clean myself up and get water to drink. I'll deal with food later.

I can smell it now. The lake.

A few steps and I'm out of the woods standing in front of a pool with calm and fairly clear water. I sigh in relief

I let go of the bow letting it fall on the ground. It just needs a new string, Totally fixable.

After that, I put my backpack next to it and take the dirty sweater off to examine it; I see fresh blood on it.

I knew my back was still bleeding.

I pull my shirt and it comes off easily, ending up like nothing more than one more useless piece of fabric. I drop it like the other things before bending to take my boots and socks off.

I walk barefooted towards the water and step carefully getting in deeper and deeper.

It's the greatest feeling I've had in the whole week. Even with my jeans and sports bra still on me, the water feels amazing and the sand below my feet is just awesome.

My wounds burn when I walk in further but I don't care as long as it cleans them a bit... I'll do my best to clean myself up here

I wish I could just ditch all of my clothing and come back to the water; Im not going to risk another asshole trying to touch me, or even watching me.

I gasp and back up when I feel a hole below my feet suddenly remembering I don't know how to swim.

I can float for a few seconds though, the thing is that if something drags me further I am a hundred percent sure I am going to drown.

I move back to a safer place.

Well, swimmer or not, this feels incredible.

Being a human is so weird when you think about it. Our bodies are so...delicate...

I miss the showers back at the prison

I push myself out of the water and taking a deep breath when I'm done before starting to walk out of the lake to get my things, get drinking water and keep moving. I'm sure I can boil it later.

I start feeling my jeans getting heavier as I walk out looking down and finally seeing my feet out of the water, I get to my backpack to take the two empty bottles in it feeling way better than before, at least physically.

Once I fill them up I put them back in their place

I put my boots inside my bag, get the broken bow and my bag and finally start walking barefooted to find a place where I can sleep since it's already getting dark.

* * *

In the dark woods I see light in between the trees and cautiously approach to see where it is coming from.

When I'm closer I see an empty campfire. There is a car close, and a backpack is just lying there.

Maybe I can steal something from whoever this is. Some food, or some ammo...

Careful to not make any sound, I walk closer. A shadow in the car moves making me hide behind a tree.

I wait.

No sound comes from there, so I lean forward to check if the owner of these things is in there but I only see a walker hitting the window.

I start moving again to get the backpack.

I take the object carefully, open it and pull out the first thing I see; Water. I open the bottle ending up drinking its contents worse than an animal would.

I see what else is in the bag.

More than enough food...

I hear something. I take a can of whatever is in it and run away as fast as I can using the darkness as cover.

* * *

The lightnings blind me before the powerful thunders are heard in the distance.

I sit in the dark one more time. My back glued to the wall of the small bridge I'm under, with my knife right next to me, listening to anything that might come close to me just like Ive done for the previous three nights around the woods. My eyes closed, but only to focus on any sound as minimal as it might be

The bridge helps me stay dry, but there is nothing to protect me from the freezing cold wind that hits me on the face over and over again.

I wonder why this spring in particular had to be so wet... I don't wanna know how summer is going to be, but now, the cold from winter and the storms from summer seem to have become best friends

The woods are eerily quiet tonight apart from the rain. All I hear is water; there are no crickets, no animals. Not even the fireflies that come close sometimes when it is dark enough, not even walkers.

My stomach growls.

I open my eyes slowly. Another lightning strikes followed by its thunder. I bring my hands up to my mouth trying to keep them warm by blowing slowly some warm air from my lungs and then rub them together.

Then I feel it after days of not even thinking about it for days. I feel my brother's wristband and look down.

I take it off to get a better look at it in the dark.

Merle...

Stupid fucking bastard...

I miss you so much...

I pass my finger carefully through it before putting it back on my wrist and looking over to my backpack.

I pull it closer for later taking Daryl's poncho out of it.

I hold it in my hands for a moment feeling incredibly sad before putting it on.

It smells like him...

I pull my legs closer to my body to cover as much of it as possible. I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my head on them just enough for me to catch that familiar scent on the fabric that immediately makes me feel safer

I close my eyes trying to trick myself into thinking I am going to see him again, even though I'm starting to lose hope of it.

I stay like that for the rest of the night

* * *

The sun came up, the storm slowly turned into a calm type of raining that makes the woods look like the only piece of earth untouched by the outbreak. It looks peaceful, and even sounds different.

I needed water, and now I have more than I could've wished for, but I don't have anything to boil it in... I didn't think of that before.

The one in my bottles looks even brownish...

All of the plants are wet now so I can't start a fire either. I get out from under the bridge only to see what the storm caused feeling tired and disoriented.

I didn't sleep. I'm so tired...

I take a deep breath, look right, look left, and walk back to where my stuff is.

I sit there staring at my backpack. Debating with myself about eating what I took yesterday from that camp, or walking in search for Terminus just like this again.

I end up taking the bag and getting the food. I stare at it for another moment before bringing it close to my lips and drinking some of the tomato soup inside.

I repeat the process over, and over again, before I slowly finish the terrible contents in the can and set it down to pull myself up and keep going.

I make my way out again, and walk on the mud until I see the railroad with the 'Sanctuary' map on it.

I stop for a moment just to read the map and see on which direction I should go.

"Hey!" I hear behind me. I turn around startled and see a dark skinned man on the bridge looking down at me.

I recognize his bag. Shit

I give a slow step back until I see he starts to come down.

I ain't staying here to chat. He's going to want his stuff back.

I run in the opposite direction.

* * *

I come across a campsite that looks like its been untouched since the beginning of the outbreak. I walk in between the tents before stopping to realize the four tents that are still standing are clean.

I take some time to poke them in search of walkers, but nothing comes out...

I unzip one carefully and find nothing. An empty tent in an abandoned campsite.

There is no blood. No apparent gunshots. But there are no supplies either, or anything telling what happened to these people.

I keep searching around and decide to try the second tent, but again, no sign of what happened to them.

There's a big blanket, and a sleeping bag. A flat inflatable mattress too. This is so strange...

And so I open the other two tents where I find clothes and some spoiled donuts. I sigh trying to think of what might've caused them to leave this camp like this and move back to the empty tent to change to the new clothes.

I zip it all up making sure there is no place where anyone could peak in and see me before I change. The shirt is a black one with the number 01 and the last name 'King' printed on the back in white.

It is a little big, and not my style, but I wont argue. It is clean.

I pull the poncho off me remembering I'm still hurt, and try to look back to see how my wounds are doing, but its just useless; I only see some red and purple, but the cuts are not visible to me.

I put the shirt on feeling relieved due to its soft fabric after the rough poncho, and then check the pants.

They're black jeans, maybe for a girl my age. Ripped knees and everything.

I actually like them, but they're still a little too big for me.

Maybe if I would've tried them before they would be perfect, but by now, I wonder how many pounds we've all lost since this started.

I can still manage to keep them on their place. I'll have to pull them up from time to time, but Its not that bad.

Perhaps I can find something to boil my water...

I keep searching around. Trying to lift the tents on the ground to see if they have something, but they all seem as empty as this place.

I sigh and lick my lips feeling how they become drier and drier as time passes, and when Im about to give up I hear noise again.

To my right, in between the trees, comes the mysterious man from this morning.

I leave all I was doing to back up away from him like last time and pull my gun out quickly. He responds by lifting his hand cautiously

We stare at each other in silence. We look at each other from top to bottom thinking and deciding the kind of risk we might be for the other.

I ask "why are you following me?"

"A hunter can be hunted if its not careful" he says simply

I frown. I don't have time for this.

I load my gun

"Easy" he lifts hand a little higher "I wont hurt you if you don't give me a reason to"

I dont care about it.I dont care about him, or what he needs. I don't care why he followed me.

He's a random guy. I don't know him or what he's capable of. I dealt with... That situation once; Im not going through it twice...

I don't trust. I survive.

To kill, or to get killed...?

There is an easy answer to that question.

I pull the trigger

* * *

 **next one coming soon c:**

 **They're coming out short, but hey! She's found another person!**


	13. Search

After the things that've happened to me since the governor attacked I tried to find someone who could help me find my brother. I've come across some people, and at first I tried my best to stay the way Rick taught me to be.

To fight for what is right.

But the world has taught me a hard lesson now. There is no right or wrong anymore. Only two options left.

To kill, or to get killed.

Taking chances is not worth it.

Looking straight into this man's eyes only confuses me even more, and I feel sorry for him; because he made the wrong choice so I have to make the right one... And pull the trigger

I expect to see him dead in seconds, if not immediately, but my gun jamming takes me off guard.

Why the fuck is my gun stuck when I need it? Piece of shit!

I don't even have a chance to react to it when another thing I wasn't expecting happens and BAM! A blow to the head with that damn stick he's carrying sends me directly to the ground.

"Son of a.. !" I complain putting a hand where the thing hit me to see if I'm not bleeding. My hand is dry, no blood on it, but my vision did become blurry.

I see how his feet approach me before he bends to take my gun as if nothing was happening before putting the end of the fucking stick maybe an inch away from my nose

"Don't move."

"Fuck..." I grunt in pain

"I need your help" he says

"What?" I frown

"You're a hunter"

I grunt doing my best to sit "no shit Sherlock."

What does he want? I ate his food, I don't have any left, and I am not giving him my water. I cant even hunt without the bow string I need.

"Why are you following me?"

"Because I need your help finding someone"

"Ain't we all looking for people?" I mutter

Ive been 'tracking' my people for days, but I only found a damaged crossbow bolt that I dont even know if it is Daryl's. I am not a good tracker.

I cover my eyes with my hands and close them.

After rubbing my eyes I look at him "You got the wrong hunter."

He shakes his head. "Not like I can choose"

I eye him carefully from head to toe. I wont be able to get away from this.

My gun is in his hand. If he leaves me alone without a weapon I'm dead, and I don't know what he's capable of so I cant jump on him either.

Merle used to tell me something like 'Princess, You oughta be polite to a man with a gun. Always.'

I always nodded and replied with a quiet 'ok, Merle'

He said it was common sense. Whoever has the gun looking down at you is in charge according to him

I didn't understand back then. I thought it was some life lesson shit, but never thought of it in a literal sense. Now that I'm in that situation all I can do is sigh and cooperate with this man

"Fine. I'll tell you what," I say getting an unsure stare from him. "But first, get your damn thing away from me"

He puts his stick away only to stare quietly at me.

I say "I'll track whoever you're looking for if you keep me safe. Win win."

He frowns without taking his eyes off me. "Why the sudden change?"

"I don't trust you more than you trust me, but you're the one with the gun right now.. I am doing what's best for me which means I need someone to watch my back right now, and you wont do it unless I help you, so I wont try to kill you and you'll keep cannibals off my back, right?"

"Cannibals?"

"Bunch of man eating assholes. Barely got away from them. What'd you say?"

He looks up as if he was thinking about it. Then looks around.

In the end he gives me a hand to help me up saying "I'm keeping your gun though"

"No you're not" I say getting on my feet

* * *

He had something to boil water in, we put my water in the thing and we are waiting for it to get colder so we can actually drink it. We haven't talked much though.

It started getting dark, so we got out to the road to find somewhere to rest. It ended up being a storage unit.

He went out to get wood while I secured the place and now we're here waiting for it to get completely dark. The location is secured, the door is closed.

We are safe, but the place is disgusting.

Smells like my dad. The smell brings back bad memories.

He doesn't seem to notice or is not bothered by it

I wonder who he is looking for. He's gonna have to tell me something about that person so I can actually start looking for him... Or her...

I wonder if he's looking for some family member.

"How's your head?"

I look up to him and just shrug after being more aware of the fact he could've given me a concussion. Its not hurting though "Fine I guess..."

He nods "I'm sorry I hit you"

Is he actually apologizing?

"You're good" I mumble. "You'd be dead if my gun wouldn't have broken"

He chuckles.

He seems to be thinking 'No I wouldn't'

"So, where were you headed all by yourself?" He asks me.

I think he's trying to lighten the mood and I don't see nothing wrong with it. I am not heading anywhere without him now anyway.

"Terminus" I reply

"The sanctuary?" He asks in a funny tone that I don't like. I nod

"You seem to know something I don't" I rise an eyebrow "been there?"

"There is no such thing as a sanctuary" he explains to me.

I am shocked and frown. "What'd you mean?"

"I passed one of those signs with the map. It was modified to 'No Sanctuary'"

"That doesn't mean anything"

"I checked it myself. Why would I lie to you?"

I groan.

He's right.. "Were they dead?"

"As far as I know, all of them"

I lean on the wall feeling frustrated.

There goes another chance of finding them...

There is nothing else to say.

The small room is dark and quiet. The little air that comes in does so from under the heavy curtain that locks up the unit.

We spend the night there. Away from each other with no other word after that and sleeping with an eye open in case someone decides to attack.

I don't trust him, and he doesn't trust me. But we need each other.

The next morning I take my bag with the broken bow, two small bottles of now clean and cool water, and the poncho in it. He fills up two of his bottles too, then takes his bag and stick and we head out.

I follow him to where he says he found clues about the person he wants me to find without my gun or any other effective weapon.

My back starts to burn. I hope I don't start bleeding.

I am sure now the cuts are getting infected. They are not healing and there is no other explanation for it.

I'll deal with it later.

"So," I walk behind him ignoring the pain "Who are we looking for?"

"A friend" he replies

"A friend like.. A girlfriend or..?"

"No" He chuckles shaking his head "I met a man not long after this started. A Cop from King County. I need to find him"

I am trying my best to do what Daryl taught me. Watch for footprints without ignoring whats around me and follow him at the same time. "Why is it so important?"

"Its a long story" he says

"There are no such things as short stories anymore" I reply

"That is true"

Im starting to think he's not a threat to me even though part of me still wants to kill him.

About an hour of silence later we arrive to the place. It is a church in a small town. Nature took it's place back and a lot of plants grow around it.

The place looks destroyed. I am confused by the state of it, but what catches my attention even more are the dead walkers and the big tire marks on the muddy ground around it.

Someone's group was definitely staying here maybe 8 to 10 people

"Here it is." He stops walking "the tire marks stop on the road and head east for maybe 20 feet before they stop."

I walk further to check on the prints and the walkers. "They used more than one vehicle. They might be going to Atlanta"

He nods again.

I look at the wooden building then. The doors are destroyed, but it doesn't seem to be caused by a human attack.

"When was the last time you saw him?" I ask

"About a year ago."

"Here?"

"No. Back in King County"

I give him an unsure look "And how do you know it was him who did all this?"

"I found a map with his name written on it inside" he tells me nodding towards the building. "There's nothing else but blood and empty cans of food in there"

I observe the church wondering if I should go in to search more abot his friend. I decide to avoid the church. Might be a trap...

I look around looking for something to tell me I'm safe and this is not a way of getting me inside; Instead I walk around the church with him following me.

I stop to check something that catches my attention. The windows have scratches on them

"You'll burn for this" I read.

I find it disturbing, and seems like he does too because he frowns and steps back.

There are 3 sets of prints on the ground. All different sizes. One is just a little bit bigger than mine. "That map you found. Did it say something else?"

He hesitates and then almost whispers "no. Just his name." He says "we should check the rest of the town"

I nod. Seeing how the prints head back to the front and scatter around there. "Yeah... We should.."

If he is lying to me and all this is just a method of luring me somewhere theres not a better place for it than the town. I want to see who this man really is.

If he's lying and I'm dead it means he was stupid enough to dig his own grave as well because I'm taking him down with me. I still feel the need to kill him if he fucks up anyway.

If he's not a liar then good. I still need someone to watch my ass and he seems to know how to fight with that shit he carries around.

"Lets move then" I start walking

* * *

 **Hello everyone!** **I am back!**

 **A few notes on this chapter:**

 **1- Yes! It is Morgan!**

 **2-This could be the equivalent to a beginning for season 5. We've made it this far!**

 **Thank you! Without you I would've quit writing a long time ago.**

 **And 3- It is hard to get Morgan's character! I find him so misterious its hard to write.**

 **please forgive me if I didnt get his personality right on this chapter, I am trying my best to get it and hope I eventually do!**

 **I hope youre as excited as I am now that I know where I am taking this and hope to not disappoint!**

 **as always thank you for reading! Next chapter coming soon!**


	14. Atlanta

We've searched about half of the town. He's killed two or three walkers roaming around.

There is no food, no water, no ammo. Nothing.

I told him we have a better chance if we start moving to Atlanta, but he wants to check the entire place.

I keep following him and waiting for him to change his mind, but he wont give up on his task.

Suddenly he stops walking. He seems disturbed by something.

I move forward, past him and stop as well staring at the weird object right in front of us.

A bad smell fills my nose and the sound of the flies around it is annoying me.

I rise my eyebrow to the half eaten foot that was being grilled and now the insects eat happily. I'm surprised it hasn't attracted walkers, but it smells so bad maybe the walkers don't want it.

Huh... To think that was going to be me about a week ago...

The man growls uncomfortably looking at the foot.

I tighten my jaw.

"Poor innocent people" I say sarcastically "such good human beings"

"You ok?" He replies

I notice through the corner of my eye how he stares at me. I don't know what kind of stare that is, but I know he looks curious. He's like trying to figure out how my brain works since last night

I am not ok. I fucking hate cannibals. They're the scum that doesn't deserve any kind of respect. They don't deserve to live.

I shake my head without looking at him "If I see them again I'll fucking kill them"

He rises an eyebrow as I walk ending the conversation.

We are not interested on anything else around here, so we keep moving through this town. I don't know where I am anymore, so I just follow him the way I followed my people before the governor killed them all.

Sometimes I wonder why I am the one that survived, or why I didn't find anyone. But I feel like this man knows what he is doing.

I still watch him carefully in case he's got a surprise for me but I honestly doubt it now.

Anyway, the town is deserted, so we go back to the church. We'll follow the road back to where it all started.

Atlanta.

* * *

Before this guy found me and I walked my ass off by myself I needed something to keep my mind active apart from the fucking paranoia and the constant feeling of someone or something watching me. I tried to stay focused on my task of finding the group and watching for threats, but give my brain at least a moment of peace by thinking of something else

Anything, really.

I like remembering things, and played games with it. I tried to memorize signs that I'd never seen before like the name of a place I walked close to, or a phone number on an advertisement, and sometimes I can remember everything I want to even though there are times when no matter how hard I try I wont be able to remember all or part of it.

Depends on how focused I am on the object.

Sometimes I tried to think of a song and hum it while I sang the lyrics in my head, or tried to remember how the hell I solved an equation to pass geometry class in high school. I never thought I'd use math after the outbreak, yet I count things to keep me busy.

I also like reading, but I don't think I've touched a good book since the farm. Not like I have the time either.

Now, walking behind this man that's slowly earning my trust I do that same thing since I don't even have a gun to myself. I am thinking of my map and trying to calculate when we are going to get to the city.

First, there is the fact that an average human being from before the outbreak was able to walk 7.5 hours a day if healthy; if my memory serves me right. I learned that in school too.

Now, in my case that number is way more than reality allows.

If I add dehydration, hunger and injuries to it, that number of hours goes down. That is if walkers or other people don't try to rip your head off.

For me there is also the lack of sleep and the pain on my back. I'm guessing 7.5 hours is now down to 4.

I wonder for how long have we been walking. It feels like forever.

I can see Atlanta, but my feet can't keep going. I have to stop.

"Wait" I pant.

We are so close. We walk surrounded by cars on the freeway that leads right there, but I cant keep walking.

"I need to stop" I say

The man stops walking to look back at me. He doesn't seem as tired as I am, but he nods anyway. "Are you ok?"

I shake my head "I can't keep walking"

"We can't stay out here on the road" he says

That is true.

I look around thinking on what to do because really, I feel like my feet are going to break and my back is going skin off if I keep walking.

We are surrounded by cars, those can provide enough shelter for the night. There is a van nearby that looks big enough to lie comfortably inside.

"We could use that van to sleep and take turns to keep watch. Keep going tomorrow morning" I suggest.

"Tomorrow morning? Its not even dark yet"

"I can't walk further" I insist "I have blisters on my feet and its hot as fuck out here"

He sighs. He looks around too considering the options we have.

"You really can't?" He asks looking at me like he's not believing me and I scoff

"I wouldn't stop in the middle of nowhere just because."

After a pause he agrees to stop and rest. There are not many hours of sunlight left anyway.

"Ok. Find somewhere to cool down. I'll search the cars for food"

I nod feeling relieved.

As we walk away from each other I remember I don't have my gun so I have to be extra careful. I bang on the van to see if something bangs back, but I get no response.

I grab the handle on one of the back doors and pull only to find it empty.

Good.

I climb in to get some cover from the sun leaving the doors open to let air inside, and take off my boots and my socks.

The blisters on my feet are healing and I can barely feel them when I'm not walking.

Then I slowly remove my backpack.

When I put it to the side I see blood on it. I take a deep breath before pulling it to get a bottle of water and setting it back against the vehicle in a way that hides the blood. I am glad my shirt is black, but need to find antibiotics fast.

I open my bottle and drink.

* * *

We sit on top of the van sharing a fruit he found on a tree that was off the road. That's all the food he found and he refused to bite it if I didn't have half of it.

I've never seen this fruit, but I know shit and know which plants I shouldn't eat. This one is safe, but still not enough for the night.

We are watching the sunset.

I bite the mysterious sweet fruit and chew slowly trying to enjoy it since it's the only meal I'll have in who knows how long before I find a bow sting to hunt.

I am just having a moment of peace up here. Not even noticing the guy's presence when I see an object move through the corner of my eye.

I look at him with food still in my mouth before I stop chewing.

Its my gun. He's giving it back.

I hesitate before taking it and just look at him with an eyebrow up. I don't move, just stare.

I move my hand forward, putting my fingers of the gun slowly before I actually grab it without taking my eyes off him until he completely let go of it, so I smirk.

"Don't make me regret it" he mutters looking back at the sunset

"I only attempt murder once" I chuckle "I told you, you were not going to keep it,"

"It doesn't mean nothing" He frowns at me

"Yes it does." It means I earned his trust "I've got no reason to shoot your ass anymore"

He sighs.

* * *

I feel better now that I have my gun back. I don't feel so vulnerable anymore. Just gotta fix it and it'll be good to go.

I just wonder... If I we end up finding his friends group, should I stay with them?

There is nothing that assures Rick is alive. Even if Daryl was in that cabin the night it burnt down, he could've died in it...

What if I end up alone again? Should I find another group?

Should I keep going by myself?

Today is hotter than yesterday but we cant stop now. Atlanta gets closer and closer with each step.

I am unsure of walking into the city even after fixing my beretta. I remember how many walkers can be hiding in there and it is scary because neither of us have enough ammo to deal with them.

We could be walking straight into our deaths just to look for someone who might or might not be dead, but I've always thought that dying with a purpose; like dying helping this man out, is a decent way of dying.

There is also the possibility of finding his friend there, or maybe not, maybe we find nothing and we have to keep going.

It's not really long before we stand next to the first building and stop to look around. They're so tall the streets don't actually get a lot of sunlight.

We decide to stay together at all times to avoid any threat that might present to us knowing it wont make a difference if we get cornered, but two pairs of eyes and ears give a higher chance for avoiding any kind of danger. There are small herds of 6-12 walkers roaming here and there that are easy to avoid and save energy by entering and exiting the buildings and parking lots.

We're actually a good team and I think we're comfortable helping one another.

At least I am. I can relate many of his ideas with Rick's, so his commands are easy to follow. He also saved me when a walker grabbed me a few hours ago.

We search inside the good old Ritz Hotel. Fucking expensive shit right here.

The place is full of things to make everyone's lives glamorous and easier, and to waste money like an asshole. I envy the people who could actually be in there not really caring about what they were going to do to get food on the table or watch their backs because life was so shitty you actually knew a shit ton of dangerous people.

Only god knows what Merle and Daryl or even Will had to do to bring home a somehow decent meal. Not like we starved, but our lives weren't always the best.

We were sometimes beaten, insulted.. Merle was in jail 3 times for minor crimes or maybe more than I cant remember cause I was too young to even use the bathroom.

I think riding the bike with Merle across the state was my happy place

Anyway, we survived the outbreak, and these people didn't. I don't envy roaming around like a rich walker bitch, so there's that.

The man and I just passed the pool area, and I must say I'm impressed. I've seen pools, but this one is miserable for a place like this.

I cant believe the hotel is so empty! Weren't people on vacation when they bombed?

They must have evacuated all them wealthy bastards first.

"We should spread out" he says before opening the next door to search the other half of the hotel, also snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Why?" I'm unsure of it.. How do I know he's not planning to do something to me? How do I know he's alone and there are no friends of his waiting for me in there?

"Cover more ground. Search faster. Maybe be out of here before it gets dark"

That may be true, plus if he wanted to hurt me he would've done it before he gave me my gun back. He wouldn't have given me the chance to fight back

I nod "which way?"

"You go right. I'll check left, we'll meet here when we're done"

"Alright. But I'll check left" I say starting to walk down the hall without looking back at him.

Its just a precaution. If he wanted me to go right, I go left, check the opposite side.

I search for what seems like hours. It is boring as fuck without many walkers, I've seen two or three, but not gonna lie, Left was totally worth it.

I found clean socks in a drawer, and a flannel that looks super comfortable. Hopefully it helps my back heal since it looks kind of soft.

I am almost at the end of the hallway. I don't want to look inside the last doors. I want to go now so we can get out of here.

Should I check them?

I debate myself for a moment, ending up rolling my eyes and moving forward because I don't wanna miss if there's anything else that might be important.

I check two of them and surely enough I found a well stocked backpack in there.

Part of me is excited about it. Part of me tells me someone is around. Danger...

I pull my knife out quietly as I take the pack to proceed looking into the last 2 rooms with caution, and I was right.

When I open the next door I face a woman sitting on the corner of the room. Her hand tightly applying pressure to a bleeding wound on her side, and a corpse on the carpet with a hole on the head.

She's wearing an Atlanta PD uniform.

What the fuck?

* * *

There is a woman wearing a cop uniform sitting on the corner of the room that looks up at me with a sweaty and tired expression on her face as soon as I open the door. In between us, the body of what seems to be a man with a bullet wound right between the eyebrows stares deeply into the wall with both eyes open showing anger, or perhaps disgust, and lying in front of where my boots landed as I stepped in is a gun that Ive never seen before, but must be a 9mm.

I try not to show the deep confusion I'm feeling, so I put the pack I got on the other room down next to me and pick the gun up slowly to put it inside without taking my eyes off her.

As soon as my hand touched the gun she says "Don't"

I ignore her words until the weapon is inside and the backpack is as close to my leg as possible. Then I respond standing back up properly "Don't what?"

"Don't kill me"

"I was not going to" I reply dryly, but honestly. I was not going to shoot or stab her. I was going to leave her and keep going as if nothing happened, but now I'm curious of why she's pleading. "What happened?"

"We got separated by a group of scavengers. He followed me here. I had no choice." she says nodding to the corpse in between us. "I need your help"

"Another one..." I scoff not knowing if she's lying. "I am not taking you with me."

"Please" she says clenching her fist in pain before talking again

I sigh feeling frustrated "You're gonna have to talk to me then"

"I don't have time to..."

"You ain't dying from that yet. I've seen worse." I interrupt her. "You've got time"

* * *

I walk slowly holding both the cop's and my weight trying not to show pain. The man is surprised when he sees me helping her, but still takes her off my back to help her up like I did.

She actually convinced me. Now I have to convince him which is not hard at all.

I explain what she told me. We take her back to Grady Memorial and she's gonna give us supplies we need to keep going, patch me up and let us rest there for a night.

I really wouldn't mind sleeping on a bed tonight.

The man is not really trusting her, I can see that, but for some reason he agrees to help her. Now all we have to do is find the vehicle she said.

Whatever happens, I just hope I didn't choose to kill us both.


	15. Grady Memorial

I walk slowly holding at least half of the cop's weight with my right shoulder and the bag I found with my left hand. She groans from time to time with her hand never leaving her injured side. I take some time to remember where exactly I came from before I keep walking and when I get there The Man is already waiting for me.

This must look a little weird considering she's taller than me.

The man is surprised when he sees me helping her. I notice how tense she gets but she relaxes when he talks to me

"What did you do?" He asks looking concerned

"It wasnt me" I roll my eyes.

I told him last night. I only attempt murder once; plus I have a good reason to keep her alive.

"Found her in a room." I tell him "we're not alone after all"

"How many?"

"No idea" I tell him finally stopping close enough to him and getting a confused frown as a response while she clings to me. My back starts to burn.

I groan "A little help would be nice, though"

He silently takes her off my back to carry her weight for me. She seems unconscious if not for the fact she's moving her legs to walk and cooperates by clinging to him now.

"You're bleeding" he notes looking at the blood that got smeared on his arm while taking the woman with him.

No shit, I didn't know that! I wonder what happened to me!

It doesn't look fresh, so I don't care. It means I am not constantly bleeding, so I'm not bleeding out, but I am sure its infected now. It is not a normal pain. I've only felt that before on infected cuts.

I stretch my arm back to touch the blood and then look at it before rolling my eyes. "Fuck... "

"You ok?" He asks more curious than worried. I think he's more worried about that other woman, but he is just too... Kind.. I guess..

"Antibiotics would be nice. We need to take her to Grady Memorial" I mutter nodding toward her

"Thats not exactly close" The Man mutters.

"There's a vehicle a couple blocks from here, we can use that" she groans

She's alive! She talks!

"How do we get to it?" He asks

"We cant exactly walk outside if you're being chased by those assholes"

"I'll guide you. I know my way around."

"Lets move then" he says

I take my beretta out and nod, but before I do anything I feel his look on me. The same look from before.

What do you want now? Lets move it!

"We are not killing people" he says looking angry about it

I tighten my jaw angrily

"I got it" I mutter

"I am serious" he warns making me roll my eyes

"whatever..."

He is not really trusting her.. Or me for that matter, I can see that, but for some reason he agrees to help her without hurting any other living being, so we walk out of the hotel.. Or more like limp out.

* * *

"Mother of fuck..." I whisper annoyedly as the two of them crouch behind a desk in a big office building. I don't know what this was before, but its a big place.

We got trapped in here because we spotted people outside, I saw big weapons that I alone can't avoid to protect the woman and the man carrying her, but now we are trapped in here with a bunch of walkers that came out of a room I stupidly opened without checking.

I have my knife out and I'm hiding behind another desk trying to get myself to accept the fact that I have to deal with 5 walkers on my own in an enclosed space.

They seem to be smelling us. They look more interested than usual and are alert looking around.

My idea was to make her wait there, behind the desk, while The Man watches where we came from in case they come through like us.

He was hard to convince. He said it would've been faster if we killed the walkers together.

I agree, but then we make more noise, the walkers would all start roaring like crazy and if they hear us it'd be chaos.

I can take them all quietly.

We just left some people out on the streets and need to be prepared if they come in here.

I breathe in deeply and exhale as quietly as possible.

I can do it. Its just five walkers.

I peek out carefully seeing 2 of the walkers gave up on our scent and are on the other side now.

One of them is on the floor. Half of its body crushed. It has a book shelf holding it in place. Thats good. I'll deal with them in groups of two then.

After locating the closest walker I wait for it to turn around and move out quietly until I am close enough to it. I grab it from behind and stab its head.

One down.

The second one is already on me calling the others to let them know dinner is ready. It only has one arm and is closer to me than I expected. I grunt kicking it's knee as hard as I can, and once it's on the floor I stomp on its head several times until it stops moving.

Now the other two are coming and stay side by side, so I either shoot them or try to separate them first.

I put my knife on the desk next to me. I give a step or two back while I get my gun out and in less than five seconds have them dead on top of each other.

"Ok, its clear" I whisper-shout putting my weapons back in their place and breathing heavier than usual.

"Good job" The Man says looking around once he gets the cop back on her feet.

I nod to him.

He asks the cop how she's doing. Her response is "I'll live"

I look down when I hear the trapped walker roars at us

Huh... He might actually be useful.

When they walk away I smile getting down to see the walker and take my knife once more. I cut through its throat carefully until it makes no more noise.

A mute walker.

Then, I try push the shelf aside as hard as I can to free it. When sliding, the aluminum shelf cuts through its back and legs leaving only the torso, head, and arms to roam around.

I am happy with the results. I give a step back seeing how it starts crawling to me silently and away from the shelf.

My new invention. My organic trap.

"You owe me one" I tell the walker

I hear The Man calling me.

"You better don't disappoint me" I say to the crawling thing before running to where the voice came from.

* * *

I did not expect her to be actually saying the truth, but here it is, her cop car.

Before I even walk out the door I see him helping her on the passengers seat, so I obviously know I am going on the back. I am glad I can finally put the two bags down and rest my back.

I close the door behind me to keep my friend in there. I approach the car and proceed putting both bags in before BAM!

My vision darkens. My ears ring. My head throbs.

This fucker just hit me again. It was a trap.

I feel my blood boiling with anger

I groan closing my eyes and putting one of my hands where the thing hit. I realize it wasn't him when I hear The Man's voice arguing with someone

I let go of my injured head after I use my other hand as support when I land on the pavement to see if there's any blood, then I put it on my knife to threaten whoever is attacking

I see people around us. Men and women with big weapons.

Someone is holding the man back.

I look into his eyes. He shakes his head when he sees how angry I am

I don't know whats going on.

I dont know why they always hit me on the head. Im gonna end up having a stroke or some deep shit injury.

I wonder if he knows these people, but Ive noticed he doesn't want me to hurt others

"don't" he warns

I might be crazy but not suicidal. I can't do anything about them.

I let go of my knife slowly to rise my hand as a sign of surrender and nod to him.

"Enough! Weapons down!" The injured woman says stepping out of the car awkwardly "they're coming with us."

And then the people put their stuff down. They're with her.

I relax a little. She's helping us.

One of them offers me a hand, so I take it.

* * *

We arriveto Grady Memorial soon after.

There's four men dressed like her that help us get inside and up to the 7th floor.

They already have a doctor ready to patch her up while the cops search through our stuff.

They take my gun, my bag and my bow. They take all of the man's things too.

I give her an angry look because she promised she'd help us, but all I can see is a bunch of curious cops surrounding us. They don't look so friendly...

She just gives me a nod before she's gone and tells the man "I need to talk to you after you're done"

The man nods slightly.

A police man comes closer. He says he wont hurt me and makes me rise my arms like a T and put my feet separated.

I'm having the worse feeling ever as he practically starts to feel me up in search for any weapon I could have hidden. I feel chills running down my spine every time he comes close to any area of my body that hurts or reminds me of... That...

It makes me want to cry and run away as fast as I can like a baby.

I feel stupid about it, but I just can't stop myself from flinching every time something touches me..

I know nothing like the whole situation with Jared is likely to happen again, but it's still scary.

Ive never been treated like that... Maybe Will treated me like trash sometimes, but he never tried to touch me in that way. He never went that far.

The cop pats the side of my thigh. I take a deep breath to keep myself from doing anything.

It'll be over soon

My brothers made me a tough woman after all; I like to think I'm strong physically and mentally, or at least I try to be. At least for what their memories are worth...

I try not to think about it anymore. I try to go to some sort of happy place in my head to avoid everything around me. Maybe think of the rides with Merle when we went out of town to hunt, or the day I gave Judith her smily giraffe.

How happy she looked.

I don't think I'll ever be able to think of a place as 'home' the way I thought of the prison. The way I thought of Rick...

I don't want to think of any of them...

"She's clear" the cop searching me says, soon the one searching the man replies as well. I give a step back while staring at him in an uncomfortable and resentful way.

"Clear" the other one confirms.

He did not check my arm. They did not see the bite

Damn, that fucking bite could cause a lot of trouble in here. I didn't think of that before.

"My stuff" I growl to the cop next to me folding my arms to hide the weird shaped scar discretely "give it back"

"You'll get your weapons out once we know she's safe" he says throwing my pack in my direction after checking it. I try to catch, but my a sharp stinging feeling stops me from stretching myself to do so. Then he says to The Man "I need you to follow me"

I bend one of my knees to pull my belongings keeping my back as straight as possible.

I notice the man is walking away when I'm back on my feet. He's leaving me here.

"Are you hungry?" Another voice asks. It is another woman, but I just stare at her.

Not really...My head hurts...

She smirks "come with me"

I end up following her to a big room with big picnic tables; the cafeteria. She gives me a sort of commanding, yet reassuring, look before she talks again "You can take anything you want, just try not to exceed the portions"

I gotta admit, it smells so good it makes my stomach growl like crazy reminding me I haven't eaten anything since last night. I thought it was going to take us longer to find food when I last ate that piece of fruit, but this ain't bad at all... For now..

I don't trust their hospitality. It always starts like this...

"Water is limited too, so if you wash your hands or take a shower do it quickly" he instructs guiding me to where the food is

"Shower..." I mutter

"The water is not so warm, To be honest. But nothing like washing off all that dirt"

I nod

I walk slowly. Cautiously.

There is a lot of food in here. I don't know what to choose.

I grab one of the plates stacked on a pile.

"Thank you..." I mumble quietly, feeling like the tiniest person on the planet.

"No problem" the cop replies walking away "I'll be around if you need anything"

I look down to the empty plate and think

This is gonna be awkward..

* * *

 _ **Hello everyone, I'm back.**_

 _ **I apologise for the long wait, Ive been really busy and dont really have the time to write I used to, but that doesn't mean I dont enjoy doing so or I'm quitting (because I hate abandoned stories and I dont want mine to end like that.).**_

 _ **Ive been trying to keep bringing chapters for you to read and enjoy no matter how short they are. Well, It does matter, but I mean Ive been writing 2000 word chapters when 1 or 2 years ago I tried to make them 4000 words long minimum. By no matter how short I mean doing them short, but trying to do them right and entertaining for all of you. (Also keeping it from going M rated)**_

 _ **On another note: I am trying my hardest to get Morgan right. Like I said before, he's so complex and interesting it's been super hard for me to get Mac to interact with him the way its supposed to.**_

 _ **Please tell me what I'm missing. What you expect to read. Help me make this worth reading for y'all. And please, PLEASE tell me what my Morgan is missing because I want to improve him until I eventually get his personality and responses right.**_

 _ **Yell at me about it! Complain! DO ALL CAPS! (:**_

 ** _This chapter is short, but it is necessary for the story to continue. I hope you enjoyed it though._**

 ** _Keep the reviews coming! Good or Mean I get excited when I get them and give me more ideas to keep this coming!_**

 ** _Thank you for reading_**

 ** _-Cynoodn_**


	16. Board games and moonshine

I follow the same police woman after eating some pieces of fruit. Nothing else looked edible to me. I discovered I like carrots with peanut butter on them.

I walk looking down silently feeling the eyes of others on me. I am so anxious Daryl's lower lip biting sounds like relaxing exercises right now.

I don't know where she's taking me, but she's been kind to me and I really appreciate that. I follow her until she stops in front of a door to her left before carefully opening it and mumbling "there you go" to me.

She walks in and I follow finally looking up.

She must be in her mid 40's or maybe even early 50's. She looks a hundred percent like I imagined a mom to look like

Maybe I shouldn't just stare directly at her. She might not like that.

I look somewhere else.

The room is clean with the typical hospital scent. Looks untouched. There are two beds that can be divided by a blue curtain and a window at the end where I can see part of the now abandoned city. There are blue curtains around this window too, only smaller, and another door in front of the beds. Right in the middle.

I keep looking around the white walls, the clean sink and the comfortable looking beds.

Are we staying here tonight? The Man and I?

"Is the sink working?" I ask shyly wondering if I can get water from there without boiling it.

"yeah. Maybe not the cleanest water, but..." She nods before being distracted by me putting my bag on the bed and passing my fingers through the covers carefully as if they were worth millions of dollars

I smirk.

A bed... I'm sleeping on a bed tonight...

She stares as if I was a weird alien-like creature stealing cows saying "beds are not the best, but I'm sure you'll like them

"Its fine." I mumble finishing what I was doing and looking back at her

"Okay" she replies and stares at me.

She seems to be analyzing every part of my body. My face, my arms, my stomach. Maybe even my hair.

I just stare back quietly and wonder what she's thinking. I hope it is nothing bad. I was starting to like her

I am so curious of her thoughts I end up asking "what is it?"

She looks a little uncomfortable, but still she shakes her head with a smirk and looks down. "Its nothing," she says.

"Oh.." I look down awkwardly for being nosy"I'm sorry"

"Don't be" she mutters. "We cant just waste our lives feeling sorry while we're going through hell ourselves."

"I suppose" I mumble

"Oh, almost forgot! Here." She tells me turning around, opening a cabinet, and taking something. She closes the cabinet and turns back around to hand me a bottle with some sort of soapy water that's halfway empty. She nods toward the extra door in the room "there's the bathroom. Like I said the water is cold, but I'm sure a shower'll help you. You can take a look around after you're done if you want"

I take it with both hands

I really appreciate this, but I think I'll sleep after I'm done and wait for The Man before I do anything. Then she starts to walk out of the room

"Thank you" I mutter right before she closes the door.

I am alone now. Without my weapons.

Shit, I really hope I can triple lock the bathroom door.

I look around me once more and start searching everywhere for something sharp or useful that I can keep with me without them noticing but find nothing.

* * *

I could not triple lock the bathroom , obviously, but it had a regular lock that will have to do.

I sigh looking at myself in the mirror. I am a mess.

Its been maybe years since I looked at myself. Maybe since back in Hershel's farm. I look very dirty and somehow pale.

I wonder how old I am exactly. I know I must be around 19, maybe 20, but I forgot how manyyears have passed since this started.

Three or four maybe...?

I look so different. My kid face is gone.

My eyes don't look dark blue anymore like they always were. They look lighter and very tired due to the dark eye bags underneath them.

I also wish I had a tooth brush.

I examine my teeth, but I don't see anything wrong with them. They're just as strong as always except they look dirtier.

I turn to look at the shower next to me and the toilet feeling super happy to see those things right there.

I slowly take my clothes off before I look back in the mirror and then down to myself.

I seem skinnier than before.

I know I am skinnier because I've never had abs before and now I can see some muscle showing through my skin... Along with a faint sign of my ribs showing too.

I had never seen my ribs showing before.

I always liked the way I looked with my 120 lbs; back in the day I always watched my weight because I was afraid people would call me out for being too fat or too skinny, so I always kept it between 120 and 125.

Now I wonder if I'm even 100...

Anyway, I can also see two scars on my left side that stretch along with my skin every time I breathe. One small, where Hershel used the needle, and the other about two inches long where the doctors opened to put my ribs back in place.

Both scars used to be pink and sensitive when I touched them. They're just regular ugly scars now.

There is a fading bruise on my arm too where Joey's hand grabbed me. His fingers are perfectly drawn in tones of yellow and dark purple on my arm.

I look back up and do my best to turn just enough to see the bruises and cuts on my back. My lower back seems to be alright, but my upper back, close to my shoulders is all... Bloody...

I look like some Mexican chorizo thats been smashed with something. My eyes fill up with tears again but I close them and take a deep, deep breath to stop it.

I hate it. I hate my body. I hate how it's slowly becoming so ugly, and I hate myself for not being able to protect it the way I should.

I feel disgusted when I think of those cuts, and that room, and Joey. I will never forget that fucking name.

I will never forget the feeling of his weight or his hands all over me.

I growl shaking my head and move to get the water running. To wash away all that as if it would get me new skin and get rid of this ugly one.

I finally run the water and as soon as I'm under the cold water I see a lot of dirt and hair running down my stomach and my legs, ending up on the floor and moving down the drain.

The hair stops quickly, but the drops that leave the tips of my hair are looking very dirty.

I start shivering under the cold water, but I wont complain. It is better than nothing.

My back burns but I know I have to get it clean for them to help me with it. I am going to hate that moment too. I just hope it goes by quickly.

The soapy liquid she gave me makes the pain worse, but she was right though. After staying in there for a moment I actually kinda like it.

By the time I step out of the shower I am feeling so much better and way more relaxed.

I really needed that.

* * *

I explore the room with more confidence and take more time to open drawers and cabinets that surround the beds and the sink. There was clean clothing on one of the beds when I exited the bathroom. A blue shirt that I recognize as those used by doctors and nurses in every hospital around the world and matching blue pants to complete the outfit, both neatly folded on one of the pillows with a pair of black socks and underwear on top of the fabric mountain.

I was unsure on whether or not to wear them, but they all were soft and smelled like fabric softener.

I wonder where they got fabric softener from...Id like to take some with me...and soap...and a toothbrush...

Anyway, I couldn't resist putting their clothes on instead of my dirty jeans and mysterious flannel...and who would choose old, ragged, and dirty panties over clean ones? If they had included a bra it would've been jackpot since mine is pretty much destroyed.

After finding nothing but lidocaine, morphine, pain killers, and alcohol, all in plastic containers, I give up on my search. There is nothing useful here, so I sit on one of the beds with my legs crossed and stay there wondering what to do next

My back starts to itch, but I know better. Scratching it is only going to make it worse.

I move my toes slightly to feel the soft texture of the socks. I like the feeling

I investigate my fingernails noticing how long they are now. They look cleaner too due to the cold shower.

I take a deep breath. I keep breathing in to see how much air I can hold until I feel my back hurting and a familiar pinching on my left side right where the scar is. I feel the pinching sometimes when I am exhausted or dehydrated, but over the time I learned that it is harmless. Just a reminder that I should rest or relax my breathing.

I breathe out. I am officially bored

I look at my backpack in front of me on the bed and grab it.

I look inside to see if they took anything, but then again, there's nothing but water bottles, my flannel, Merle's wristband, and Daryl's poncho in it. I find the rope after taking all those out.

Again, nothing interesting to see here... I get the wrist band on my left wrist.

I look at the door debating myself on whether I should sleep or leave the room. I am very tied, but I am also very curious.

After a moment of hesitation I put my feet back on the ground and stand back up. I open the door slowly, look out to memorize the room number and surroundings and walk out of the room to go check on the rest of the hospital.

I walk out to the hallway to check on this place.

The first thing I notice are the windows on one side of the wall. I can see most of the city from here, but in case something happens we cant just jump down.

Not gonna lie though, it is a mesmerizing view.

If only I could find Rick somewhere by just looking out of this window...

I look down and keep walking

Some of the rooms are closed, some are open. I see people in their rooms talking, or reading something. Some of the rooms are just there. No one inside. Others have sick people lying in bed.

People dressed as cops roam around from time to time; talking to people, helping them, or just looking. Making sure its all good.

All of them keep their eyes on me while I come through, but don't seem threatening as I thought they'd be. I still wonder if they're real cops or just took the uniforms.

I guess it doesn't really matter...

I see an old man outside of a room just watching people come and go as he sits on his old chair.

He calls me and makes me wonder why he would talk to me.

"You the one that brought Amanda back ain't ya'?" He starts the conversation casually.

I hesitate before even saying anything, then I look behind me to make sure before I realize it is in fact me he is trying to start a conversation with.

I walk closer to him cautiously "what can you tell me about her?"

The man chuckles "Shes good at talking, I can tell you that. But if you're worried about something, don't. Things here are not what they used to be"

"How so?"

"You know how to play chess?"

"Whats that got to do with anything?" I frown folding my arms. The healing skin around the cuts on my back separates again and feels weird, but I try to ignore it. I want answers, not games.

"Its been sitting in my room for months. No one ever wants to play. Kids these days think its boring."

"There are no more kids these days" I reply and apparently amuse him.

He laughs and says "Play with me, I'll tell you whatever you wanna know"

I let out a slight snort before replying "You ain't scared of me?"

"Ain't nothing scary about you" he smirks "you know how to play?"

I nod "I've got some notion. what's your name?"

"Mercy"

"Mercy..are you gonna answer my questions then?"

He shrugs "are you gonna play chess with me then?"

"One game" I smirk at him.

I am not afraid of him either.

This man has been here a long time. I can tell.

I'll play chess with him. See what I can learn from people around.

* * *

I am sitting on the floor with the board in front of me

I think we're more than half game through. He's told me a lot of things.

He told me he was here when this started , and that it hasn't really affected much. He said no one ever came to visit him anyway before.

He also told me I am safer here than out there and that the people here ain't gonna hurt me.

Bunch of bullshit. I don't believe that

"Amanda is not an evil person" he states moving a tower on the board

"Sure." I reply moving my king away from his tower

"Maybe she was hoping you or your friend knew something, but the others, they don't want you and your friend here after what happened with the other group"

"What other group?" I frown

"It is a long story, and let me tell you, not a nice one. Amanda is trying to keep us alive after that happened. Things have changed a lot" He says before making a pause to play his turn "you can trust her"

"Only I get to decide who I trust" I say moving my queen to try and protect the useless king in the game

He moves his tower again

I think for a moment seeing I suck at this game. There is nothing I can do to win!

I sigh and Move a horse.

"Well, to be fair all that is known about Amanda Shepherd's life before the outbreak is that she worked as an officer. When it all began, she and the other members of the PD were asked to evacuate the staff and patients, myself included, but it never happened. I guess something went wrong. We've only lost officers ever since they tried bombing the city, so she became our leader, or so to say, recently."

"Still." I am confused.

I watch carefully waiting for his move to then think on mine

"We had a conflict with another group from outside a couple of weeks ago. Several were killed on both sides. Amanda stopped a bigger conflict and we followed her. That's the story in a nutshell" he gives me a small laugh before looking back down to the chess board.

I frown and play quietly considering what he said.

"Still not convinced?" He asks

I look at him and ask "Did anyone said any names?"

"You mean from the other group?"

I nod

"No" he says disappointedly "not that I heard of at least"

"Can you describe them?"

He nods "a young blond girl was killed by an officer named Dawn. She ruled things here before Amanda, but one of the men shot her as soon as the girl hit the floor. He was White. Dirty. Beard. Used a five shooter... Nothing special"

White... Beard... Dirty... It could be anyone.

"A blond girl you say?" Oh, shit. Mika? Beth? Maybe?

"Most likely his daughter" he replies

Only Daryl or Rick fit that description if you apply it to my group, but having a daughter killed...

It is not them. Could've been anyone.

I nod still trying to think what I can do in this game and think of his story before I hear him laugh. I look up at him not understanding why, but then he talks

"check mate"

I widen my eyes and look down.

He's right. He won.

"Son of a bitch" I mutter making him laugh again. He is quite a happy old man

"Look, I don't know what happened to them after that day, or why you're so interested and curious. But I can tell you this place is not what it used to be since Amanda took over. It is much more peaceful."

"Is that why y'all were hiding from those people outside? I don't really think peaceful is right"

"Like I said you are safe in here, and I can promise you that"

Safe...

I try to imagine all he told me. Its so hard to put all the pieces together...

"Can I ask one more question?"

"Go right ahead."

"Did one of them kinda... Well, looked somehow like me? Maybe..? blue angry eyes?" Did you see my brother?

The old man looks up seeming puzzled. He presses his lips together before shaking his head to me "lots of angry eyes there. I don't mean no offense, But tell you the truth I had never seen eyes as tired as yours. Like I said they were pretty normal. Wild animals if you ask me. Don't know where they headed next either."

I look down sadly and say "no offense taken"

I really am tired after all..

"If it makes you feel better, you don't look like no wild animal to me. You seem much more reasonable" he replies

For a moment I thought he was talking about Rick and the others, but after he described them I cant seem to imagine them doing the things he said, or the rest of them acting like that.

Yet again, I never imagined me turning someone's head into mashed potatoes.. And I did it.. Guess people have to change to survive.

The group sounded too messy for my liking, though.

Similar, but not the group of people I'm looking for.

"Well," I grunt in pain trying to get up from the floor. Once I do, I give a kind smile to the old man "Ive done crazy things for others too. You were very helpful, thank you"

"Thanks for playing. That was fun"

I smirk tiredly "anytime"

* * *

I stand in front of the door to my room, prepare myself to go inside where I have nowhere to run in case something is about to happen. I really don't want to stay here longer than I need to

I walk in looking around and not wanting any surprises.

Of course this is my life so if I cared if the color of the sky was blue it would change to green just to fuck things up for me

Anyway, I do find a surprise inside. A good surprise at least

The Man is back.

He is sitting on one of the beds eating the same fruits I ate a while ago

I feel so glad to see he came back

Without looking at me he says "I hope you weren't causing trouble"

That sounded so much like my brothers...

I wonder what he means by that... Threatening people? Actually killing someone?

No. I am not stupid enough to attack someone in a place like this by myself. Like I said before, I might be a little crazy, perhaps even emotionally damaged, but definitely not suicidal yet.

"Not worth the risk" I mutter minding my own business after trying to find a similarity between him and my siblings, or perhaps him and Rick, but there is nothing. Only an overprotective aura that came from nowhere since he doesn't know anything about me.

I get on the bed with my things and sit on it like before. Nothing to do.

I am so tired...

When he finally looks at me he asks where I was. I reply honestly, but he just frowns and asks as if he's not believing it "Where did you get a chess board?"

I shrug.

With an old man who looked lonely.

He chuckles, looks down, and repeats before shaking his head "chess"

"Yeah, what about it?" The old man was nice. What was his name?

"I used to play chess with my son all the time"

He seems so frustrated all of a sudden..."Your son?"

"His name was Duane. He'd be around your age now. I will not talk about him." Thats all he says.

I only played chess with my dad too. Merle never liked it and Daryl was busy trying to pretend I wasn't there.

He liked playing chess and I liked playing with him because he wasn't beating me or yelling when I sat down to play chess with him. He would talk for hours revealing all of his secrets while we played when he was drunk.

It usually happened while Merle was in jail and he and Daryl had to watch me.

He said he was so sad when Merle and Daryl's mom died he became an absolute drunk.

He said he thought of her when he was with other women...That in his mind, he was having sex with her when he was with my mom and that because of my 'stupid whore mother' I was here. That I should've never been born...I was a mistake and he hated me for that.

Only one time he played with me while sober and he became a good dad without alcohol. I was five and he turned into a regular parent.

I learned he wasn't evil, he just needed help but we couldn't help him. He told me he loved me and he was sorry and promised to change...Then that night he beat me, tried to shoot me and Daryl with a hunting rifle and had a Horrible fight with him about it where my brother, younger and sober, won. Later, dad vomited all over the kitchen and passed out on the couch and my brother cleaned all that up while yelling at me because for some reason it had all been my fault.

What a simple bottle of moonshine can do...

If I focus enough on the memory I can still hear Daryl yelling at me. Or dad trying to find me with his rifle while I whispered 'twinkle twinkle little star' and covered my ears inside Merle's closet, trying to think of what my kindergarten teacher had sung to me that day and hoping I wouldnt die that day.

I was so scared that night no force on earth could get me away from Oscar, my stuffed dog.

I bet The Man wasn't like Will. I bet he loved his son and his son loved him.

They must've been a perfect family.

I find myself about to cry one more time after getting that horrible memory back, but instead Just look down knowing his son is dead, and probably his wife too. Perhaps that is why he didnt kill me when I tried to shoot him. We are both the last ones in our families and he understood the pain of loosing a family member.

"you dont need to." I mumble. "I understand"

* * *

 **Hey there!**

 **I just wanted to let y'all know that I read every single review written by every single one of you and that I will answer the question "are you going to continue your story?" That has been mostly written by guests so I cannot personally reply to them! Sorry!**

 **The answer is yes. I will, but I wont upload so often because I have been very busy lately and because I have decided that in order to keep writing cool stuff instead of boring stuff I want to see more of where they're taking the official plot because it's been crazy. They're doing very weird stuff that I (and I think many other people too) did not expect, so I want to see where they're going to make sure where I'll take Mac next.**

 **That said, I wrote this for all of you and hope y'all like it!**

 **As always, I really appreciate you reading this, and keep asking for your opinions no matter how harsh you can sound.**

 **HELP ME IMPROVE!**

 **Anyway, have a great night. See you in the next one.**


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